There was an article in Tuesday’s New York Times about how dads are increasingly making the decisions on what toys to give to their children as part of the changing family.

According to the article:

“For the first time in Barbie’s more than 50-year history, Mattel is introducing a Barbie construction set that underscores a huge shift in the marketplace. Fathers are doing more of the family shopping just as girls are being encouraged more than ever by hypervigilant parents to play with toys (as boys already do) that develop math and science skills early on.”

Or as psychiatrist Maurene O’Brien, quoted in the piece and consulted on the new Barbie set said, “Once it’s in the home, dads would very much be able to join in this play that otherwise they might feel is not their territory.”

Actually, the toys don’t matter all that much.

What matters is giving the gift of time.

That’s what I always liked about golf as a divorced father.  Plenty of time to be together, play, talk, wait and bond.  Who said the game is too slow?

The gift that keeps on giving is always on sale for 100% off because it is free.

But in our workaday world where stressors mount hour-by-hour, we increasingly see relationship solutions as being mobile, digital and materialistic because we are so jammed on time.  Time is money and we often wind up spending it on the wrong things.

The father I saw dining with his two daughters in a Chinese restaurant in Scottsdale, AZ a year ago put on a clinic for how not to parent.

He was on his Blackberry for most of the dinner.  His young children chatted with each other while he was distracted – not their dad.

As the holidays come upon us, could this be the year that we realize that an hour spent visiting a person in an assisted living facility is a gift all by itself – one that will always be a hit.

That the toy you give a child almost doesn’t matter, but the time spent together does.

Splurging on presents for your spouses or partners is nice but non-distracted “face time” is the wrapping that makes it perfect.

Rick Warren says we must prove that our relationships are important by investing time in them:

“Words alone are worthless. My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.”

We can give this present this year!