We all value being real and being honest.

The latest trend is young girls making YouTube videos and asking if they are pretty or not.

The New York Times recently ran an article on a 13-year old girl named Sammie who posted a video “Am I Ugly Or Pretty”.  She received 72,000 views in just a few months and 2,000 comments.

Sammie said she learned a lot about how cruel people can be.

Especially people who don’t know you.

Let’s put this one in perspective right now.

Beauty is hard to define and this is not really about beauty.  It’s about insecurity and looking to strangers to get that which many of us do not have.

1. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.  Is the second runner up in a beauty contest chopped liver?  Is a beauty contest even worth entering? If I ask you to tell me the most beautiful person you know, will you describe someone physically striking or the essence of a special person?
2. The only opinion that matters is yours – really.  Look into the mirror and see your soul. That is how to judge beauty.  Did you ever have a grandma who was ravaged by the years, hard of hearing and a mere shadow of what she used to be in her youth but you thought she was the most beautiful person ever.  She was.
3. Never, ever give control of your self-esteem to another person – not even a trusted one.  You are the guardian of all that is good about you.  This responsibility is not to be outsourced to another person.
4. Life is not a beauty pageant.  Can you name anyone more beautiful than Mother Teresa of Calcutta?
5. Don’t confuse good looks with self-esteem.  “Good looking” people are sometimes not nice.  And nice people are not always “good looking”.

If you must ask anyone to be honest with you and say whether you are beautiful, make that person you.

And the answer is yes.