Thanksgiving can be a train wreck for some people.

This “family time” is also dysfunctional family time and that includes all of us.

Relatives and close friends are pushed together to eat, drink, watch football and shop often for more than one day over the weekend.

The real purpose of Thanksgiving is not eating but gratitude and the closer we get to gratitude, the better the holiday goes.

• Rule 1 through 99 – if you really want to have a miserable time, try to change someone especially a relative.  Let it go, let it flow.

• Warning:  stay off of politics.

• Be the one who raises a glass to the person who prepared the feast if you are having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  They may be moved to tears or show joy of appreciation, but it sets the right tone.

• Remember those who are departed.  I remember my parents every year by trying to do something that they would do to keep their spirit alive.  A recipe (broccoli sautéed in garlic and olive oil) to feel their presence.

• Remember the less fortunate or those who are troubled.

Food is filling.

Food for thought is satisfying.

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