Hard driving people are not assured of success and happiness.

Ever work for someone like that (or maybe you are the hard driving kind)?

It’s easy to confuse go-getter with “go, get her”.

Confidence over pep talks. 

Reliability over risk taking.

Consensus over dissention.

Look at it like this:  what kind of person would you like to work for (live with, be friends with).

A hyperactive dynamo might not be your choice.

Once you’ve described that person, be that person.

Change is a funny thing.

Most of us say we want it, maybe even expect it but change is upsetting and we often wind up fearing it.

But “better” is more compelling than “change”.  Who doesn’t want better?

If we see our daily lives as evolving instead of changing, we will become more open to the disruptions that even positive change can bring.

Change is scary.

Remaining the same is dangerous.

Striving for better is how we evolve into the fascinating people we really are.

One of my NYU students who is also seeking to master skills of human relations borrowed one from Dale Carnegie the other day – “Begin with praise and honest appreciation” of others.

That’s a good one for ourselves as well.

We are exposed to criticism all day long – some blatant, some subtle.

It’s also not a bad thing to be able to praise and appreciate yourself as an instant confidence boost.

It’s nice to have someone else point out your good points, but sometimes that can be a long wait.

Be proud to recognize the good in you when you see it.

The one thing about anxiety is that it creates more anxiety.

It’s almost as if what you’re worried about is not as important as how it speeds up the worry process.

Anxious people are obsessed with their worries.  Any worries.  All worries.

Slow is the friend of stressed out people.  They just don’t realize it.

Become aware of what happens when you change the pace of how you look at things.

Even little irritations can’t drive us crazy.

The secret is you can’t hurry up and calm down.

Slow down and get immediate relief.

Parents now spend only 5 hours communicating face-to-face with their children per week.

TV, too much time in their rooms and their phones are among the reasons for the worsening disconnect.

This is forcing concerned parents to change.

Learning to play the popular video game Fortnite (yes, 20% in the Cadbury Hereos survey admitted to it).

39% are becoming more involved in their children’s hobbies.

33% have taken an interest in their child’s music – listening to their favorite bands and artists.

But mobile devices are a bad excuse for absentee parenting because many of these parents are setting a bad example by outsourcing their relationships to digital devices.

To reconnect, it’s not necessary to disconnect.

Simply connect with lots of face time and person-centered interest.

The phone is a tool, making it your life is for fools.

When something goes wrong, most of us have no problem quickly assigning the blame to who (other than us) is responsible.

When something goes right, it is often welcomed with surprise.

You don’t play sports by being surprised if you win because you won’t win unless you believe it first.

If you can quickly name who ruined your dream then you likely gave that person too much control over your life.

Why is it that blame comes easily and success comes surprisingly?

To be happy, expect to win and when you lose, expect to win the next time.

B.J. Fogg has a bestselling book titled Tiny Habits in which motivation, ability and prompt (the opportunity) are described as the best ways to make changes.

We’ve been warned with the age-old Chinese saying “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” but we rarely use that wisdom as the basis for getting things done.

In short, if you have the ability, motivation and opportunity, take one small step toward that which you want to accomplish.

Change your mindset.

Stop trying to conquer the world.

Start taking small steps in the right direction.

The idea that little things can be easily accomplished is a big thing.

I was sharing with my students last week the benefits of failing.

1. You find out how badly you really want something if your response is to not give up.
2. You almost always guarantee that you will eventually succeed if you keep getting up and trying again (remember Thomas Edison tried 10,000 times to make the lightbulb work – it was just when, not if).
3. You overcome the fear of failure in the future when you train yourself to look at failure as a rehearsal for your eventual success.

No matter how you cherish the friendship of others, the best friendship is the one you develop with yourself.

Can you count on you?

Do you know what values you stand for?

Do you outsource your enthusiasm for success to others or generate your own?

Do you love yourself for all the good things you are (can you rattle off a list of ten of them right now)?

Are you always there for you even when you’re hurting or when you’re confused?

The very traits we value so much in a special friend should be readily available in ourselves.

If we can’t be our own best friend, why would someone else want to be?

It’s texting – at least among teens (up from 32% in 2012 to 35% 2018).  Probably higher today as it has been trending upward.

In-person communication has paid the price for texting – down 49% to 32% in the same period.

Social media (16%) and video chatting (10%) are also on the rise.

The only means of communication that is declining is in-person.

Depression comes from lack of interpersonal relationships.

The phone is a convenient tool but also a great addiction.  To avoid the downside of too much connectivity, set aside times for meals, bedtime, homework (for students) and social interactions to silence devices.