Starting now, no one is allowed to say hurtful or critical things directly into your subconscious.  It will just repeat on a continuous loop of pain.

No one gets to allow their anxiety to rub off on you.  This is within your power to control and we all have plenty of anxiety of our own to deal with.

No one is allowed to hurt your feelings so keep in mind that veiled insults are often compliments turned around by insecure people.

Think of your mind as a recording device – what kind of things do you want repeating in your head?

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Tristan Harris used to work for Google as a code writer where he soon discovered that apps and websites existed for the sole purpose of serving ads – not mental health or less anxiety.

Now Harris has become an advocate for taking control of our digital devices without giving up the more useful aspects.

1. Turn off all notifications except from real live people
2. Using grayscale instead of the more inviting color.
3. Limit your first screen of apps to just tools–the apps you use for quick in-and-out tasks like Maps, Camera, Calendar, Notes, or Lyft. Move the rest of your apps, especially mindless choices off the first page and into folders.
4. Charge your device outside of your bedroom.
5. Remove social media from your phone – it is the attention black hole.

For more about these and other ways to take control of your digital life, click here.

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When we make a decision, we automatically own it but the fear of making a mistake is always lurking in our minds.

Letting someone else decide is safer, but not always better.  Guessing turns decision making into a bet, we either win or lose.  Not doing anything seems safe, but it is the most dangerous thing to do when something important needs to be considered.

Back to the Ted Williams Principle – baseball’s most prolific hitter in a single season who got on base over 40% of the time.  It got down to the last day of the season – a doubleheader – in which Williams’ manager offered to let him sit on the bench for one or both games to assure that he would enter the record books.  Williams chose to play – both games.  He finished the season batting .406.

Whether he maintained his .400 average or lost it, Ted Williams reminds us it is better to act like a winner than avoid making a decision.  It turned out to be the first of his six eventual batting titles.

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A puzzle cannot be put together with any one piece.  It takes many.

Happiness does not occur from any one thing.

With a puzzle, time and perspective are required to know where the next piece fits in.

Time is the friend of happiness because it allows perspective to see what we value and  where things fit in to our lives.

In both puzzling and life, it is the sum of the pieces that produces the final result.

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There is only one way to get stronger and that is to endure adversity.

Hard times make for happy outcomes.  Not quitting when things are going against you means it’s only a matter of time before you develop mental muscle.  Fighting against all odds improves the odds that you will outlast adversity.  No one looks for adversity but it is a gift wrapped in a suspicious package.  Strength doesn’t come from things going your way.  It comes from being introduced to yourself and you say hello to determination.

When we meet a person, we often say “how are you doing” with responses being anything from true to false or sarcastic (“if I was any better, I’d be you).

You don’t start a conversation with “I almost died” or “I’ve been sick for a week” and if someone else does, a word of positivity is better than dragging out the full story.  To avoid negative situations, take the lead with positivity.  “I’m happy to see you”.  “Glad to be here”.  Something sincere and positive.  No one wants to be around people who drag them down even if they don’t know any other way.  Negativity is a disease.  Take precautions against it.  Treat it with a healthy dose of positivity.

The more we practice the ability to find common ground, the more we gain the cooperation of other.

My NYU students want to use their phones during class.  I want them to give me their undivided attention for almost 2 hours.  What to do?  Set the ground rules together so we both win.  Phones off in class.  Students may get up and go into the hall with the professor’s complete understanding if they need to check or send a text message.  The disruptions are minor.  The more we get closer together, the stronger we become.

The ability to make choices is like muscles – the less we exercise, the more we lose them.

A day doesn’t have to go badly just because something goes wrong, one choice is to turn it around.  Walking away from negative people is a choice whether for the moment or permanently.  Boredom can be avoided – the choice is ours to shake things up.  And the thing is, it’s also fun to give away your ability to freely choose from time to time.  A friend I dined with used to look at the menu and ask the server what would you eat – you know this menu.  Then he would say, I’ll have that.  Choice not chance.  Active choice keeps us from becoming victims of circumstances.

The author Norman Cousins laughed his way through what was diagnosed as collagen disease and lived a long life to write and lecture about it.

Cousins had a thing for Marx Brothers movies and long before Netflix he had the old movies brought into his hospital room for viewing.  Laughter is often the best medicine and considering being cooped up for the past few months with Zoom I’ll bet you will fall off your chair howling when you view Music Teacher Plays Song in a Pandemic.  Enjoy.

Imagine if instead of reminding yourself of a confidence deficit, you remembered that virtually everyone else is feeling the same way.

Confidence is perishable.  The day after a promotion and raise, it’s fresh.  After being laid off or furloughed, it’s stale and in need of freshening.  Every day is not a greatest day for others either.  Yet we tend to think of any lack of confidence as exclusive to us.  Once we refocus on the fragile nature of confidence and how almost everyone is impacted by it, we can get on with a solution – be the fine person you are, it is not only good enough but even the reminder makes you better.