Happy or Happier?

“If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.”  Charles de Montesquieu, writer/philosopher

This is why Instagram and social media detracts from our happiness because judging our happiness based on the perceived happiness of others always leaves us wanting more.

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Jerry On-Air:  Bringing a Parent to Job Interviews

1 in 4 Gen Zers take their parents to interviews (26% actually sat in on the interview).

1 in 6 parents directly submitted job applications for their kids.

1 in 8 had their parents write their resume from scratch.

1 in 10 wrote the cover letter.

Walter Sterling, talkshow host on WPHT, Philadelphia called to set up an interview with me after seeing my DayStarters post and after experiencing his first applicant with parent in tow.

I thought you might enjoy hearing the short interview here.

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The Ben Franklin Effect

Author Meg Jay says when we do something nice for someone, we tend to like them more afterward which may lead to another future favor.

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If You Didn’t Win the Lottery

We always hear people immediately jump into what they would do IF they won the lottery.

Perhaps a better question is what would you do if you DIDN’T win the lottery – could you answer that question as quickly as the first one?

Dreaming about riches as remote as that may actually be for a lottery holder is nowhere near as productive as asking what your life could look like without.

I get it, less money for sure, but even winning has its disadvantages – The Tragic Stories of Lotteries Unluckiest Winners.

Dreaming about the possibilities can be a sure bet.

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No Bad Days

Only a handful out of 100 bad things happen.

We’re human, we all have ups and downs and there are some catastrophic things that cannot be wished away, but on the whole we have the opportunity for more good days than bad.

During the down times get the focus off ourselves and distract our mind by trying to help other people even if it is as simple as being a better listener when we hurt the most.

No one ever felt better by ruminating on all that is bad.

Being happy is a choice not a feeling – it’s not just when things are looking up but when you’re challenged the most. 

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Warning Signs You’re Beating Yourself Up

  1. You think everyone else is better than you
  2. Going negative before you begin
  3. You expect to lose, surprised to win
  4. It’s been a long time between pats on the back
  5. You’re asking for help from those less qualified than you

Others watch how you treat yourself and often treat you the same way.

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Lonely in a Crowd

Since COVID, we all seem lonelier.

40% of British adults have gone 3 days without a face-to-face conversation with another person.

28% said they were lonely around people at a social event or at work.

It’s worse for 18-24’s – 60%.

A first step:  focus on how many other people feel the same loneliness and redirect your efforts at them – someone has to go first, it might as well be you and it can make all of the difference.

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The Happiest Song of All Time

The happiest-sounding songs are in a major key.

  • Using a formula for the study, he discovered that “Good Vibrations” by The Beach Boys is the song that can make you happiest.
  • The most spirited songs have a 137 beats per minute tempo and a verse-chorus-verse-chorus structure.
  • What makes us attracted to a particular song is an unpredictable element like a key change or a “seventh chord”.
  • Here are the top scientifically “happy” songs:
  1. “Good Vibrations” by The Beach Boys
  2. “I Got You (I Feel Good)” by James Brown
  3. “House Of Fun” by Madness
  4. “Get The Party Started” by P!nk
  5. “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel
  6. “Sun Is Shining” by Bob Marley
  7. “I Get Around” by The Beach Boys
  8. “YMCA” by Village People
  9. “Waterloo” by ABBA
  10. “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire

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Save Your Best for First

Do you start with your best material or save the best impact for the end?

Daniel Kahneman in Thinking Fast and Slow says start big by creating a halo effect that makes you more effective.

Holding back your best stuff until the end would be a mistake.

But start with it and your chance of being successful will be improve.

Even at home with children – lectures don’t work because they’ve likely tuned you out before you can hit them with your best stuff.

In presentations, imagine blowing the audience away with the best you have instead of running the risk of losing them until the end.

In today’s quick paced digital world go big from the start.

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Bringing Mom to Job Interviews

I was horrified to see a new survey that 26% of the Gen Z respondents involve parents in job interviews, 31% recently reported a parent accompany them to an in-person interview, 29% joined a Zoom-type interview.

37% of respondents who had a parent come with them were at the office during the interview, 26% said one of their parents physically sat in the room while the interview took place.

The study cites even more examples of low confidence here.

This lack of confidence in not limited to the next generation, it comes from our growing inability to be resilient – willing to risk not getting the job to build confidence.

Failure is a rehearsal for future success and the only way you will not get what you want is to give up.

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