Never Trust Your Gut … Unless

Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman wants you to check these three things off before you listen to your gut feeling:

  1. Is this an area where patterns actually exist to make a judgment?
  2. Do you have long experience of the subject?
  3. Have you tested your understanding of it against reality previously?

That’s 3 yeses to reassure yourself that your gut feeling is more than a reckless impulse. 

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Living Someone Else’s Dream

Living someone else’s dream is like driving another person’s car.

It gets you to your destination, but you don’t own it.

I always wanted to be a dj and I didn’t want to go to college.  My father insisted saying “you’ll be the smartest dj”.  I listened and got my college education but never gave up my dream.

Be the person you want to be.

Take control of your own dreams.

Make them bold and adventurous.

And there’s no time limit – you can even start today.

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Guarantee a Happy Mood

Pick a number, say 20.

The first 20 people you meet today, smile at them.

No need to engage in conversation, a smile will work just fine.

Most people will smile back, a few won’t – some won’t make eye contact because they are distracted.

By the time you’ve counted 20 people in a row you can smile at, you’ve programmed your happy mood for the day.

If you still have doubt, what happens when you carry your burdens in facial expression – most people know to avoid you and you’ve pretty much set the wrong tone for your day.

The brain likes to be programmed and 20 smiles can do it.

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Bouncing Back

Recovering from a critical mistake, a bad break or a bad day has less to do with what went wrong than what went right.

Take any success and break it down – there are some pretty steep low points for the average person on the way to their goals and eventual happiness.

Bouncing back requires looking forward not back – a lesson learned is not always the answer.

So the new term is bouncing ahead – looking forward to the next time at bat, understanding that no one hits 1.000 and that setbacks are to be expected and even welcomed because turning things around isn’t about what went wrong but what went right.

Fear of Making Mistakes

The biggest mistake is to believe that we must never make a mistake.

Mistakes are what drives success.

If you were told that mistakes will lead you to where you want to go, you would welcome the challenge.

We see all these people who have worked through adversity on their way to the top and yet we hold ourselves to an impossible standard of zero screw ups.

Don’t fear mistakes, learn from them because without pain there can be no gain.

Changing Loneliness

There are people who are constantly interacting with others who are lonely.

And there are those who have a much smaller and limited friend universe who are feeling anything but alone.

Loneliness plagued 54% of 20,000 Americans surveyed by Cigna in 2018 – a year later it shot up to 61% with 18-22 year-olds the loneliest.

Facebook friends are nice but they don’t count.  In fact, social media makes us feel lonelier than ever.

It’s not the number of people in our lives, it’s the quality of honest conversations we have with others.

Taking a Mental Health Day

It’s not a day off.

It’s a day on — with expressed goals of refocusing on life other than anxiety, complexity, frustration, work and digital devices.

A planned walk, a conversation with someone else, an entirely different routine and things that are opposite from the stressors that weigh us down.

The difference between a sick day and a mental health day is one is a retreat from being overwhelmed and the other is a structured treat for becoming refreshed.

Developing Confidence

When I was on the air, I worked for a boss who was a task master – very tough on his air staff and he listened to the station all the time (even the middle of the night) to catch your mistakes and then call you during your show.

Talk about PTSD.

Looking back, it wasn’t the criticisms I remember, it’s the compliments – a tough coach who also knew how to pay a meaningful compliment.

We can live with high expectations and high standards.

But we cannot live without appreciation.

Auditioning for the Next Job

Allen Stone was an iconic, longtime newsperson on WFIL in Philadelphia when one Sunday, the station’s programming suddenly changed from adult music to top 40 and Stone’s career on Monday morning was thought to be over.

The dean of newscasters was told in no uncertain terms that the new rock-and-roll news format that involved loud voices, short sentences, screaming, yes screaming – would be beyond him.  After all, he was a dignified adult newscaster.

Stone asked for a chance – one week to prove that he could do it.

Within hours everyone knew Allen Stone could not only do it, but set a high bar for his younger associates to rock the news.

What if he never asked?

What if they never gave him the chance?

Life is a continual audition – always be prepared to ask for the chance to show your stuff.

The One Thing to Live Longer

Living with a sense of purpose has been shown in studies to add years to life and improve happiness.

A recent article in The Washington Post put it bluntly:

“In his 1946 book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” the Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote that belief in something “external” — potentially as mundane as unfinished work, or the hope to reunite with a loved one — helped prisoners survive.”

Getting through the day is admirable but not purposeful enough to reap the benefits.

Younger people live happier, older people live longer.

What is the purpose that drives you?