Today try to say no at least once.

It doesn’t have to be rude and you don’t even have to say the actual word “no” but decline something that is a bit too much for you to accept.

We get used to taking on burdens placed on us by others and add to our own anxiety by being willing to go along with something else that will make us unhappy – after all, anxiety is caused by worry on top of worry.

When you find the right thing to turn down, do it for you – other people don’t know the stresses in our lives. They barely know the ones in their lives.

If it works and makes you feel better as it does for me, find a way to add “no” and give yourself some much-needed control over stress.

As much as they say they like it, people are put off by actual change – it can be intimidating.

What they like instead is better.

I’m not going to change myself, I’m going to be a better person

Life doesn’t always need to change — it just needs for us to make what we have better

Self-confidence doesn’t need to be different, work with the confidence you have.

Changing someone else is futile until you can work to become the person you would want as a friend or associate

Be the fine person you are – never change – always make it better

Play your strengths over and over again.

We don’t listen to music we don’t like so why repeat things we don’t like about ourselves or others see as negatives.

Know how to stop mistaking weaknesses for strengths and play your greatest hits.

Four-time Grand Slam Tennis champion Naomi Osaka is taking a lot of heat personally and professionally because she is dealing with mental health problems.

She withdrew from the French Open in May and has been lying low ever since.

She was fired for not fulfilling her media commitments by Roland Garros, merchandise dealer.

Mental health is a serious issue today and everyone is entitled to privacy and empathy.

Personal symptoms are private – not to be shared without permission

Mental breaks should be welcomed not criticized or punished 

It doesn’t matter who believes you – what matters is that YOU believe YOU.

Today, postpone even thinking about anything new that worries you.

Tuck it away for 24 hours.

In fact, pick an exact time on Tuesday when you will deal with it.

Problems don’t solve themselves – at least it’s rare and every day all of us are hit with many opportunities to worry about something additional.

By postponing worry until a set time – say 24 hours later – it is step one in reducing anxiety because anxiety worsens as we add additional worries in our daily lives.

After that, we come to realize that we have some control over our anxiety.

We may never be able to change some things but we will always be able to change the way we look at them.

No is the magic word for bullies

No, I won’t do it

No, I’m not interested

No, I won’t hear of it

No, if you don’t stop, I’ll push back

And no, I’m not afraid

When faced with “no” bullies look elsewhere.

Anxiety is worry about worry.

Once we hit anxiety overload, we panic.

When we panic, we run.

Here’s how I faced down anxiety that bordered on panic.

I have a violent reaction to MSG.

I unknowingly ingested it in salad dressing on a flight to a radio convention.

Within minutes my face was red, my heart was palpitating out of control and I was very aware that I was stuck in a tube called an airplane with no ability to get any help.

I knew many people on that flight from Philly to Las Vegas making my anxiety worse.

Do you know what worked for me?

I repeated to myself “I can handle this” over and over.

Almost immediately although the symptoms were still going strong, I felt less anxious and then the symptoms eventually let up.

Reminding yourself that you can handle anxiety is when the help arrives.

In pre-historic days surviving was the main goal.

Over time a negativity bias creeped into humans where we focus on negatives in order to go after the positives.

Our brains wander.

We forget about the good things in life.

That leaves us walking around with what Mayo Clinic Dr. Amit Sood calls “a fatigued brain”.

Rest the brain – multitasking exists but it is not good for us emotionally.

Stress is not related to any weakness in the body, it’s due to how the brain works. 

Out of the 100 events that are affecting us every day, 4 are bad and 96 are good – focus on the good.

It’s normal to have butterflies in the stomach when facing challenges like public speaking or taking the lead on a project.

Get butterflies to fly in formation.

You are in control of them not the other way around 

Butterflies are a good thing – they remind you that you care and that you are committed to doing a good job

It’s a waste of time to try to relive the past.

Invest the emotional power that is being wasted on yesterday on that which can make you happier today

The past is a file, the future is a blueprint – the only thing that matters is the present

The happiest person I know has the ability to put the past in a mental file with few regrets.  She looks at the present with eager anticipation.

She is 96 years young.

Letting go is how you gain control over life’s ups and downs