- The courage to be you – speak your thoughts, defend healthy boundaries and safeguard your values.
- But also, the confidence to respect others and hear them out showing them the respect you would want from them.
Not Getting What You Want
- The benefit of not getting what you want – you worked hard for or simply desire – is that it forces you to decide just how badly you want it.
- If you’re disappointed, hurt or discouraged but stay in pursuit, you must really want it.
- If you’re able to accept defeat, then perhaps there is something else that is more important to you.
- The gift of hearing no is how it helps us discover yes.
No More Disappointment
- The sure way to never be disappointed is to keep your motivation high and expectations low.
Unlocking Power
- In my NYU music business classes, we try to emphasize the importance of both making a life and a living and we’re concentrating on the untapped powers we all have.
- The ability to lead – step forward and take a chance.
- The power to make other people happy by being in our presence or as one learner said “when my eyes smile, they smile”.
- The strength to enforce healthy boundaries and stop letting others make us feel badly about what we do.
- Potential is already within; the challenge is to begin to use it.
Protecting the Lead
- In sports, life’s teacher, we see again and again what happens when you get off to a great start only to be surprised by a person or event that can completely undo our progress.
- The best way to protect a lead in any area of life is to press hard to continue doing what got you that lead – do not let down.
- Play from behind as if you’re catching up not protecting what you’ve accomplished.
- Success comes only when you’ve earned the entire victory not when you can only taste it.
Changing Minds
- It’s hard to do because our beliefs are tied closely to our identity.
- There are two things that almost everyone can agree on: hurting others is bad and trying to be fair is good.
- And that attacking others because of their beliefs only makes them harden their position more.
- A willing listener and a person schooled in good human relations skills is best suited to deal with views opposing theirs and keep the lines of communication open.
Breaking the Ice
- My NYU music business students also practice human relations skills to give them a leg up on life and their careers.
- This past week several reported to the class that they gathered up the courage to put themselves out there and break the ice with another person.
- The result: feeling good about reaching out and making new friends (in one case, a promising new friend).
- The power we all have within us to make a difference in our lives and those of others is when we channel the courage to go first.
The Most Comforting Words
- The most comforting words are no words at all.
- Being there to listen is your gift to give and your awesome power.
Time Is on Your Side
- There are tons of ways to manage time better – my favorite is “How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life”.
- Stressors such as we face now make it more important to put a hold on trying to do everything in front of us.
- Another quick way to make a difference is to abide by the rule that says 80% of your productivity is in 20% of the tasks that you choose to do.
- Spend more time carefully picking that 20% and let the other 80% rest undone – yes, not completed.
- To become skilled at accomplishing more, become skilled at doing less of everything and more of what matters most – knowing the difference is the difference.
Self-Care
- Love the one you are.
- Value your assets and even your quirks that make you
- Be on call to defend against others who would ding your confidence, health, hope or optimism.
- How far would you go to help a loved one or valued friend? Be willing to go at least that far for yourself.
- Self-care starts by retraining your brain to admire, respect and love yourself more in every way every day.