On average Americans check their phones every five-and-a-half minutes or 262 times a day.

Blame code writers who are working overtime to make us stay addicted to serve more ads and keep a lock on engagement time.

FOMO (fear of missing out) drives the addiction.

40% admit to using their phones while driving – I witnessed that first hand leaving NYU on the first day of this semester when a car slammed into me at the Holland Tunnel merge, yes, the driver was on the phone.

That’s interruptions every 5.5 minutes when we work, talk to our kids and spouse, to friends, even when we’re sleeping – check this out.

Schools hand out iPads, the addiction starts.

Parents are caught between child and peers to pressure to let them have a phone.

Every second spent buried in social media or with heads down toward a digital device should be weighed against all that is being given up focused on the now.

Worrying about the future is why we are living in an age of great anxiety caused by anticipating what may not happen.

There are seemingly an endless number of tools to cut down on worry and still it plagues us.

One way to reduce worry is to limit it to what’s in front of you today and not get ahead of yourself.

Worriers are notorious for imagining tomorrow’s doom and gloom today.

Focus on today’s problems which is plenty to deal with.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.

It doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

You’re not doing it for the other person.

Forgiving is necessary for all healing starting with you.

The moment we let even a little doubt into our mind that we can’t achieve what we set out to do, it grows.

If we keep injecting how we’re going to “kill it”, make it happen and expect success, we are paving the way.

The worst kind of sabotage is to be perfectly capable and allowing self-doubt to linger in your mind.

Confidence is not a feeling, it’s a choice.

Yes is the word you want to say the most.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I will.

Yes, I will believe in myself before everyone else does.

Yes, I will meet any challenge that matters to me.

Yes, I am fine just the way I am and it’s time to recognize it.

Embrace and accept the fine person you are.

Gaslighting is an increasingly popular tactic to get someone to doubt their reality and memory.

Some of gaslighting’s greatest hits are:

• “You’re making things up.”
• “That never happened.”
• “You’re being dramatic.”
• “You’re blowing things out of proportion.”

What to say when someone is gaslighting you according to therapist Alyssa “Lia” Mancao:

• “My feelings and reality are valid. I don’t appreciate you telling me that I am being too sensitive.”
• “Don’t tell me how to feel; this is how I feel.”
• “I am allowed to explore these topics and conversations with you. Do not tell me I am being dramatic.”
• “I know what I saw.”
• “I will not continue this conversation if you continue to minimize what I am feeling.” (Then, implement the boundary.)

A new study examined over 21,000 Americans to find the right amount of free time to make life happier.

As free time increased, well-being also went up — to a point — and leveled off at about two hours and started to decrease after five.

And entire days free may leave us unhappy contrary to what we think.

When people find themselves with too much time due to leaving a job, retirement or a less challenging lifestyle and career, finding a new purpose in life helps put that found time to work in a positive way.

All of this may be why when you want to get something done, give it to a busy person to do.

Think about this – you would not go to a child’s soccer game and tell them everything they are going to do that day will not be good enough.

Trying to be the best is a worthy goal, but looking for ways to never be good enough is self-sabotage.

When I was a professor at USC, I had a student come to me after class and ask what he could do to earn a better grade because his father was not happy with the A that he was working on.

The most useless thing we can do to ourselves is to be our own chief critic.

There are enough critics in our lives.

Start by being a true believer and everything else will fall into place.

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama

There’s no way you can make something that hurts all of a sudden feel good.

In the meantime, the psychological Tylenol for the pain and hurts in our lives is simple.

Stay busy.

Crowd out as much hurt as possible doing as much good for yourself as possible.

An extra-strength pain reliever is to do as much good as possible for someone else.

Focusing on others when we hurt not only relieves the pain but gives us a chance to put things into perspective.  Gratitude is the killer of pain so get busy and be as appreciative as possible for what you have.

Time eventually heals but staying busy is what you do in the meanwhile.