Winning Cooperation

  • You could say, “Will you help me?” but believe it or not the response rate is not always that impressive or enthusiastic.
  • Better yet ask “Will you be a helper?” research shows that questions gets a better response.
  • The reason this is a key element to winning the cooperation of people around you (at home and at work) is because worded as a noun, it makes the other person feel more powerful.

Pushing Back Against Criticism

  • Criticism no matter how good or correct always backfires which is why it is better left unsaid.
  • To pushback against unwanted and hurtful criticism make your first reaction one of self-appreciation.
  • While they are condemning or complaining about something you did, teach yourself to hear your voice over theirs in your head.
  • You are the authority on you – criticism from others is just an opinion not the truth, keep that straight and you’ll always put it in the right place – out of your mind.

Living Without Self-Doubt

  • It’s bad enough that others try to tear people down with criticism but why help them destroy you?
  • The person who can’t advocate for themselves doesn’t need enemies.
  • Believe in yourself and others will follow.
  • Self-doubt is the real enemy.

Dealing with Fear

  •  Alpine skiing athlete Alice Merryweather who was forced to sit out the Olympics because of injury has struggled with fear.
  • “I used to try to just ignore it. And it turns out that doesn’t work very well.  Trying not to think about something tends to make me think about it more. And so I have worked with a sports psychologist who has helped me kind of mindfully choose to accept those thoughts and just not make them a priority.”
  • Blocking out fear rarely works – it lurks in the mind – just don’t give it a lot of space.

The Best Super Bowl Quote

  • We rate the commercials and have an opinion about the halftime, what about a motivational quote to take away from Sunday’s game?
  • Only one team wins the Super Bowl.
  • A first runner-up is not chosen the winner.
  • The obsession with winning is misdirected – it should be an obsession with putting our best “on the field”.
  • Football coaching legend Vince Lombardi who the Super Bowl trophy is named after had it right when he said “”WINNING is not everything–but making the EFFORT to win is.”

How Performers Deal with Anxiety

  • Adele, Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Harry Stiles, Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson are among the many performers who deal with performance anxiety so we’re not alone when it’s our turn to “be on”.
  • Confidence is not a feeling, it’s a commitment that your time, effort and life is worth you being the first to believe in yourself.
  • When looking for someone to believe in you, gaze first at the mirror.
  • Butterflies are actually good when you get them to fly in formation – it means we care and that we’ve got them under control.

Alone No More

  • You’re never alone when you stand up for yourself.

The Blame Game

  • Young people especially seem to feel that when something is wrong, it is their fault.
  • Amazing how when things are bad, we are programmed to blame ourselves but when things go well, we shake it off.
  • Blame is useless – it doesn’t work when directed at others no matter how merited one thinks it is and it is among the most dangerous things we can do to ourselves.
  • When things go wrong, fix them and when they go right repeat them over and over on a recurring loop in your brain.
  • Blaming does not motivate anyone to be better.

Hugs

  • When the Kansas City Chiefs won their playoff game against the Buffalo Bills in an exciting last-minute climax, Chief’s quarterback Patrick Mahomes stopped celebrating with his team to cross the field and hug and console his opponent Josh Allen who was spectacular in the game.
  • Hugs are not always physical – they can be pep talks or expressions of pride, confidence or support you have in another person.
  • A hug can simply be lending an ear to one in need of a listener.
  • But a hug starts by sharing your good fortune or a gift that you have with another without expectations of getting something in return.
  • “Hugs” whether physical or verbal always involve two people with their arms and ears wide open.