I had a student tell her classmates that she was more than willing to forgive a friend who hurt her after she got back at her!

• Hey, forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you – By letting go, you are able to avoid becoming the person you don’t like.
• But there are limits – people who abuse are better left out, no need going there.
• Forgiving is not forgetting so by letting go of the anger, you are not disregarding the problem but letting it go.

In the end, all of us have control over the person we want to be and while forgiving sounds magnanimous, it is self-preserving so that we stay on track to be the person we want to be.

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One of my students favorite assignments is when I ask them to write a paper and give themselves a pat on the back.

• It’s easy until this happens – They can easily write what they are proud of doing but can’t resist criticizing themselves before they are done (which is not the assignment).
• Getting rid of the guilt – Just being able to say they did something well seems to come with guilt which is of no benefit to anyone.
• The magic is to own the compliment without detriment and believing it.

Let’s face it we are competent – sometimes awesome – and recognizing that without limits is the lesson we should be teaching ourselves for that which we have earned.

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The greatest baseball player of all time – Ted Williams, the only person to have a season’s batting average of over .400 said a wise thing worth remembering.

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer”.

• Redefine success – That suggests that we might be better off to define what success really is before getting started.
• Not reaching perfect isn’t failure – No one, not even Ted Williams, bats 1.000 and that’s ok – in baseball, a player hitting .250 can be a multi-millionaire with a long career.

Lift the burden off your back and shoot for perfection but judge success by a more realistic standard.

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Sports fans cringe when their teams suddenly stop winning with a passion and losing with apparent abandon.

• Slumps are normal – Everyone goes through them, so why do they get out of hand and give the feeling you’ll never win again – you don’t have to be an athlete to experience this.
• Pressing makes things worse – In sports the bat sticks to your hands, you grip the hockey stick too tight – it’s the opposite of just playing your best.
• The answer – Firing the coach sometimes works in sports to release the pressure but the rest of us can’t fire ourselves so refocusing on how good we are when we are simply ourselves is a way out.
• It’s usually all in our heads – Just like when we’re on a winning streak and everything seems to go our way.  Patience, positive self-talk and times at bat can bring us back to excellence.

There is a new study that suggests music may hold the key to staving off cognitive decline.

• Older is younger – Older adults performed just as well as young people.
• Listening was enough – Former music training had only a marginal impact on the findings.
• Music keeps us young – Music either by attending live events, playing an instrument or simply listening appears to be the way we have been searching for to keep our minds sharp.

If you want to change your life for the better before the year is out, you don’t have do anything more than master the following four things:

• Please Forgive Me
• I Forgive You
• Thank You
• I love You

For more:  “The Four Things That Matter Most” by Ira Byock, M.D.

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time”Leonard Bernstein

NOTE:  Cheryl and I are going to take a few days off to recharge our batteries before NYU resumes in-person classes again in a few weeks and the media industry revs up to end a challenging year.  This seems like a good time.  A good time to catch up on some stories you may have missed.   See you in a few days — Monday August 26.

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As a former radio program director, I still see the world as one giant radio station.

Instead of only posting your next big moment on social media, consider putting into rotation as one of your greatest hits of all time.

Those moments are worth rotating over and over.

Some are even worth rotating more often than others.

And, as in music radio, play the things that make you happy in life.

I’m fond of a record industry saying:  if it’s in the grooves, it’s a hit.

Replay yours often.

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Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.

It doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

You’re not doing it for the other person.

Forgiving is necessary for all healing starting with you.

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An influencer platform known as Fanvue has conducted a beauty contest of sorts that gave out prizes to 3 non-existent people.

This is the part of AI – which also has a good side – that is scary.

Because the focus is on someone’s concept of beauty in a world that struggles with self-image and body positivity.

I’m taking this as a gift – and a warning – to look for the inner beauty of everyone and avoid outsourcing a person’s best qualities for what passes as an abuse of technology.

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