Very often we solve perceived problems before we can state what they actually are.

Think of that beautiful earthrise that was taken from the astronauts’ moon landing – the earth sure looks different than it does looking out the window flying from New York to LA.  We see more.  We gain a wider perspective.

One of my favorite lines that I utter when faced with a problem is – “let me go to the moon” and take a look at this problem for the deeper perspective.

Then, define the problem in one phrase.

The rest, we are pretty good at.

Hopefully, you get a chance to try this and if you like it, pass it on.

Life is tough enough without having to put up with the insults of others.

Sometimes they take the form of layoffs or firings that make people feel bad about themselves.

You’d think these companies would do everything they could to help valued employees (after all, they hired them in the first place) gain reemployment.  But they don’t.

Or the non-competes that are threatened and enforced to further hamper the reemployment prospects of those let go – they’re illegal in some states and there is a movement to make them illegal everywhere.

One of the toughest things on confidence is being cut loose or even working under the threat that it might happen and in our world today it is possible if not likely.

BUT, the one thing to protect us is self-worth because so many people who were discarded by employers have found new work, new life and even better pay by not believing the narrative that they are expendable.

This is a real threat today, share if appropriate.

The most effective thing that I do to motivate college students is to put in perspective how time is so important and not to waste it.  It goes like this:

A college student is one-fourth through their life expectancy based on the average age of an adult in the U.S. which is 78.

How important their 20’s are – from 20 to 35 according to Megan Jay author of The Defining Decade is when life is set for most people.

And how older people are happier than younger because they must learn to live each remaining day the best they can.

No matter your age, imagine the advantage to putting time on your side.

If you’d like to share, go right ahead.

I frequently remind my NYU classes that the average time spent on TikTok in the U.S. is 93 minutes – a day!

Obviously I have nefarious intentions to get them to do their homework assignments and keep up with reading comparatively.

Which got me to thinking that sometimes the best call to action is a statement of fact that cannot be denied to more effectively make a point.

Share away!

The time US adults spent at home increased by 10% — one hour and 39 minutes a day — between 2003 and 2022 according to the American Time Use Survey.

15-34 year old’s saw the greatest increase – two more hours at home in 2022 than in 2023.

Add to that the time spent on social media and digital devices, in front of screens or playing games and you can see why face-to-face social interaction – a recognized cure for loneliness and unhappiness – has become an epidemic.

I asked my college students born after 2004 this question last week:  “How many of you ever played baseball or even softball?”

3 out of 25 raised their hands.

More time outside doing just about anything or nothing seems like a step in the right direction to find more opportunities for in-person relationships.

Feel free to share.

From my friend Henry Kavett …

Poignant last words of Steve Jobs, Apple billionaire who died at 56:

“I have reached the pinnacle of success in business.” In other people’s eyes my life is a success.  However, aside from work, I’ve had little joy.

At the end of the day, wealth is just a fact I’ve gotten used to.  Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in, has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.

You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you, but you can’t hire someone to stand sick and die for you.

Material things lost can be found again. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost: Life.

Whatever stage of life we are currently at, in time we will face the day the curtain closes.

Love your family, spouse, children and friends… Treat them right .

Cherish them.

As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch both give the same time.  Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse, the amount inside is the same.

Whether we drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and the distance are the same, and we reach the same destination.

Whether we drink a $1,000 or $10 bottle of wine, the hangover is the same.

Whether the house in which we live is 100 or 1,000 square meters, loneliness is the same.

You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.

Whether you travel first class or economy class, if the plane crashes, you go down with it…

Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you discuss, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,… this is the real happiness!!

An indisputable fact of life:  Don’t raise your children to be rich.

Educate them to be happy.

When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price. “

If this hit you like it hit me, please share with others

A new study – 50,000 women between 69 and 96 – discover that experiencing gratitude is beneficial for both physical and emotional health and … wait for it …

Those who experience more gratitude have a lesser risk of dying – they live longer.

It’s not just touchy feely any longer.

So, the nurses were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their attitudes concerning gratitude.

Three years later, women who had the highest levels of gratitude experienced a 9% lower risk of death of any cause, including cardiovascular disease, cancer and neurodegenerative disease.

Don’t need insurance, a wonder drug or doctor’s appointments.

Just saying “thank you” is a simple way to get started.

Finally, something positive – feel free to forward this to a friend.

It was my friend’s birthday on October 3. 

When I was reminded on social media, I said to myself that I would contact him later and perhaps write a note.

But before the day ended and on his birthday George Johns, a friend I’ve known in radio died.

So instead of the usual, yearly happy birthday wish, it was a sad face emoji and a missed opportunity for one last good wish delivered.

Fortunately, we have had no shortage of warm contact back and forth over the years but it made me remember how important it is to not put off the important stuff.

And do not postpone joy which is all that matters in a life of gratitude.

Did this affect you like it did me?  Pass it along.

Ironically, the skills that often help people succeed in their careers, do the exact opposite in their personal relationships.

Being goal-oriented, always in control, relentlessly uncompromising can be an impediment.

Perhaps that’s why some of the most powerful and successful business executives are not as successful in their marriages and relationships.

Relationship skills that matter are the ability to compromise, letting others get their way and the credit, encouraging them to lead and you follow as well as the ability to give away the power you have to enable others to feel strong.

Businesses succeed on the strength to persevere and win.

Personal relationships often do better when power is shared, even given away for a consensus compromise.

If you liked this, pass it along.

I asked my NYU students in our ‘mental health for musicians’ class to write down on a 3×5 card what they think are their 3 biggest problems.

First, I need to give them pencils because they often don’t have them.

Fascinating that it sometimes takes a long time for them to write the 3 problems down because they worry about so many things – just like the rest of us.

By focusing on the biggest causes of anxiety, they see (sometimes for the first time) the real roadblocks to happiness.

Worth a try today?

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