Unlocking Power

  • In my NYU music business classes, we try to emphasize the importance of both making a life and a living and we’re concentrating on the untapped powers we all have.
  • The ability to lead – step forward and take a chance.
  • The power to make other people happy by being in our presence or as one learner said “when my eyes smile, they smile”.
  • The strength to enforce healthy boundaries and stop letting others make us feel badly about what we do.
  • Potential is already within; the challenge is to begin to use it.

Protecting the Lead

  • In sports, life’s teacher, we see again and again what happens when you get off to a great start only to be surprised by a person or event that can completely undo our progress.
  • The best way to protect a lead in any area of life is to press hard to continue doing what got you that lead – do not let down.
  • Play from behind as if you’re catching up not protecting what you’ve accomplished.
  • Success comes only when you’ve earned the entire victory not when you can only taste it.

Changing Minds

  • It’s hard to do because our beliefs are tied closely to our identity.
  • There are two things that almost everyone can agree on: hurting others is bad and trying to be fair is good.
  • And that attacking others because of their beliefs only makes them harden their position more.
  • A willing listener and a person schooled in good human relations skills is best suited to deal with views opposing theirs and keep the lines of communication open.

Breaking the Ice

  • My NYU music business students also practice human relations skills to give them a leg up on life and their careers.
  • This past week several reported to the class that they gathered up the courage to put themselves out there and break the ice with another person.
  • The result: feeling good about reaching out and making new friends (in one case, a promising new friend).
  • The power we all have within us to make a difference in our lives and those of others is when we channel the courage to go first.

The Most Comforting Words

  • The most comforting words are no words at all.
  • Being there to listen is your gift to give and your awesome power.

Time Is on Your Side

  • There are tons of ways to manage time better – my favorite is “How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life”.
  • Stressors such as we face now make it more important to put a hold on trying to do everything in front of us.
  • Another quick way to make a difference is to abide by the rule that says 80% of your productivity is in 20% of the tasks that you choose to do.
  • Spend more time carefully picking that 20% and let the other 80% rest undone – yes, not completed.
  • To become skilled at accomplishing more, become skilled at doing less of everything and more of what matters most – knowing the difference is the difference.

Self-Care

  •  Love the one you are.
  • Value your assets and even your quirks that make you
  • Be on call to defend against others who would ding your confidence, health, hope or optimism.
  • How far would you go to help a loved one or valued friend? Be willing to go at least that far for yourself.
  • Self-care starts by retraining your brain to admire, respect and love yourself more in every way every day.

Smart & Smarter

  • You gain knowledge by being like a sponge.
  • Sponges can sop up everything until you need to squeeze it out.
  • The smartest person in the room is the one who asks the most questions and soaks up the knowledge not the one who is squeezing every last word out to impress others.
  • I worked for a program director at a radio station in Philadelphia who used to confuse me by asking things I knew he knew so one day I asked him why he did it.
  • His response: “If I talk to impress you with what I know, I learn nothing.  I prefer to learn something additional from you” – obviously, I never forgot his wisdom.

Tiny Changes

  • The secret to great change is tiny achievements.
  • It’s like rehearsing your lines or practicing a sport – getting the little things right adds up to big results.
  • Shooting for the moon is more than any human can expect on their own, but thinking in terms of little steps is within everyone’s ability.
  • A single still counts like a homerun in the hits column.

Being Heard

  • Last week my NYU students emphasized how important it is to them to be heard and in their study of human relations, they learned some effective approaches.
  • There is a difference between being heard and talking over someone else.
  • To be heard, first become an avid listener as the recipient is going to see hear through their perception of what you are sharing.
  • Ask questions, listen to the answers, educate instead of sell, accuse or blame and communicate.
  • The volume is less important than passionate listening.