New Rules on Judging

  • You get to judge you – no one else gets a vote.
  • Judging is one of the big personal issues right now as people become exposed to negative sentiments not only in person but through social media.
  • When you put something out on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok and other means do you regret it?
  • People say they can handle judging by others better when they are with friends and family, a place of safety or alone by themselves.
  • But even being alone requires a sense of ownership that you are unique and your life is not to be judged by how others observe it but how you live it.

Show Up as a Leader

  • A TikTok with great advice here
  • Confidence is compelling, timidity is off putting, indecision makes you lose the cooperation of others.

St. Peter’s NCAA March Madness Run

  • The Jersey City team no one ever considered an elite school became the first No. 15 seed ever to advance to the Elite Eight. 
  • Toward the end of the regular season, St. Peters went on a losing streak only to be followed by a winning streak.
  • Their coach Shaheen Holloway appears to be a quality leader and outstanding role model for his student players.
  • Although they lost their game against North Carolina, St. Peters’ success reminds us of the real things that help us succeed – what’s in our head means more than any other body part, skill or advantage.
  • Negative thoughts bring us down and occasionally as is the case with St. Peter’s the will to win can help exceed expectations.

Stop Saying I’m Sorry at Work

  • Replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you”.
  • You’re seen as strong and successful whenever you resist the urge to apologize to co-workers or bosses.

Self-compassion

  • You know the saying that a person’s best friend is an animal and there is no doubt that they can be loyal friends – consider those affected by PTSD who feel comforted by an animal they can trust, love and feel safe with.
  • And isn’t that the definition of a true friend not just an acquaintance?
  • People bring joy, diversity and companionship into our lives but asking more of them is often more than most people can provide.
  • Practice self-compassion in order to recognize it in others.

Fix for a Bad Mood

  • Anyone in radio or television can tell you that while what they do for a living requires them to be upbeat and positive when on-the-air, they’re human and don’t always feel that way.
  • When I taught the Dale Carnegie Course, we used to remind learners to “act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic” – the action comes before the thought.
  • Take a timeout here and see if you can think yourself into a better mood.
  • As my radio and TV friends will attest to, they have little job security and you can get fired on a dime for nothing or by someone who isn’t even sober at the time.
  • I’m aware of an air talent who was fired on the day before vacation and then asked to do their show before leaving the keys under the bosses’ door – you couldn’t tell from what went out over the air because the person was even more enthusiastic when the mic was open.
  • The fix for a bad mood is act happier until the natural motivation catches up with you.

Partly Sunny

  • The opposite of “not sure” is “not unsure” even though both phrases describe uncertainty.
  • It’s like “partly cloudy” and “partly sunny” – decades ago chambers of commerce everywhere were pushing local media outlets to go with the more positive weather forecast wording even though the actual result they were forecasting was the same.
  • When in doubt, choose “I’m not unsure” over “not sure” when faced with a goal and put that optimism to work for you.

Meeting the Expectation of Others

  • Humans are driven to please constantly feeling pressure in work and social situations to be good enough or at the very least not to disappoint.
  • That’s backwards – there is a better way.
  • All that anyone can ever expect is that you will make the best effort possible – they don’t have the right to set goals that in the end wind up affecting self-worth.
  • Expect the effort not the ability to define the result.

Bulletproof Confidence

  • The impossible is done not when others believe it’s possible, but when you believe it.
  • The possible becomes impossible when you allow someone else to determine the outcome.
  • Believers are always on autopilot – they don’t have to feel success in order to pursue it.
  • “With confidence, you have won before you have started.” —Marcus Garvey, activist and orator

Difficult Employers

  • The person I detested most as my boss taught me more than all the others put together that I liked.
  • It was the only time I was unhappy in a broadcasting job – and if you’re wondering, I tolerated this person for several difficult years.
  • I look back on that period now as a sort of boot camp – I survived, made the grade, improved beyond all expectations and left far more qualified than I arrived – I have been honing the skills I learned since.
  • Just as no one wants to spend a career in boot camp, it reminds me that sometimes we’re in uncomfortable situations that can be unpleasant, but in the end not without eventual benefit.