I’m proud of you – Four powerful words.

When you hear it, it reverberates like an echo.

When you are the one saying it, it feels just as good to see a face light up.

Even better …

I’m proud of you (then succinctly say why)

Discover the power we all have within us to move people in a positive way by finding something to be proud of.

When I was training to be a Dale Carnegie instructor, I was recognized for winning an award when my mentor was present in the audience.

I accepted the award in front of the room and almost without another thought, I called this person up to be recognized for all the time and caring he had put into my training – then I handed him the prize.

Never in my life have I missed possessing the physical gift because even though he is gone, I feel joy every time I think of how surprised and proud he was to take custody of my award.

The gift that keeps on giving and never stops is the one in which you elevate those in your life for the recognition they deserve whether it’s one-on-one or in front of an audience.

“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

No matter how good the intentions, people find it difficult if not impossible to bring about positive change.

As Mayo Clinic physician Dr. Amit Sood puts it, the one sure way to make yourself miserable is to try to change someone else.

Better to change yourself.

Set the bar higher for your difficult relationships – define what you’re now expecting and let them choose to meet it.

We’re powerless over others but in control of what the rules of engagement will be.

Most people now spend over 5 hours a day on average with their phones, screens and social media.

That means a lot real life, in the moment experience is being outsourced to a digital device.

These devices are so addictive because we’re used to making sure we don’t miss anything, hoping for something pleasant or good and just trying to stay connected.

Martin Cooper, the man who invented the world’s first mobile phone is now 92.  His advice is put down your devices and “get a life”.

Even a slight reduction in screen time each day produces tangible benefits.

I’ve never shared this publicly but the time seems right now.

In the one year my publishing business lost money back in the 1980’s, I became filled with negative thoughts that seemed to kidnap my optimism and focus – if it continued, it would have ruined everything I worked for.

One day I walked around the Executive Mews complex in Cherry Hill, NJ where I had a small office and saw the empty pad for a new, much-larger building to be constructed.  After sleeping on it, I went to see the landlord, signed a 5-year lease – even added the features I thought I would need when I succeeded.

From then on my mind had no room for failure in any way and by the time we moved in, things were humming again with better times ahead than I could have predicted – and, I had the space for it.

Bet on yourself – it’s a sure thing.

Courage doesn’t grow on trees it has to be cultivated.

Every time you make a difficult decision it’s an act of courage.

The more instinctive these acts are, the more naturally you are becoming.

Courage occurs before you act.

None other than Warren Buffet himself said we get caught up in the circumstances of the current environment we find ourselves in that may spark you to do things you don’t want.

Change your habits before they change you.

Take control of your phone – it works for you — you don’t live for it.

Replace the word adversity with opportunity – when you believe a raw deal is strong enough to lead you to a better deal, you’ve solved the discouragement problem.

And, make time for you and those you love and who love you – the biggest regret of people at the end of life is that they spent too much time working and not enough with loved ones.

Being not appreciated is not your problem unless you buy into someone else’s lack of recognition of what you are about.

Relying on others to validate you is a dangerous path.

A more productive one is to view yourself in two ways – what you are accomplishing, the goals you’re meeting, the things you are doing to succeed and to not confuse criticism with getting better.

There is no positive use of criticism and never has been – it can scare, force compliance but it never makes a person better.

Appreciation starts with you – looking for it elsewhere is to invite trouble.

60-year-old country singer Toby Keith revealed that he has been treated for stomach cancer for the past six months, is taking time out from touring and looks forward to resuming his life.

But first:  “I need time to breathe, recover and relax”.

Often adversity’s gift to us is discovering a way to be nice to ourselves.

If sickness makes us appreciate the importance of taking time for ourselves then it has delivered a precious present that can outlive the disease.