The greatest gift costs nothing – not one cent.

Yet it is highly valued.

It is loved by everyone who receives it.

It is always in demand.

It doesn’t need to be gift wrapped.

The greatest gift is the gift of your time.

One of my NYU students practicing his human relations skills in preparation for a great career in the music business, devoted two full hours listening to a friend of his focused directly on his friend’s feelings and concerns.

The result as he told it:  my friend felt great and I did, too, knowing I had the power to give him something he appreciated.

It’s never too late to make a friend or rekindle a lost friendship if they are willing.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born,” said author Anais Nin.

That friendship can be re-born to appreciate a second time what may have been under- valued the first time.

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are examples of powerful women who are embracing imperfection.

Taylor Swift’s “Anti-Hero” song says “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem / it’s me, hi, everybody agrees” and she goes on to add “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby / And I’m a monster”.

Selena Gomez, subject of an Apple TV+ documentary reveals “I get the voice that comes in my head that says you missed this. That sucked, that sucked” after a rehearsal overwhelming her because she wants to do her best.

Music is the soundtrack of our lives — the lyrics say it all.

But there is evidence that people today are able to relate better to pop stars for the very imperfections they exhibit.

In other words, the message for the rest of us may be – our weaknesses may actually be our strengths.

Interesting article that men consider business success more important than friendship.

I see loneliness as a changing human condition following the pandemic that includes the often-dehumanizing effect of digital and social media.

The antidote for loneliness is to be first to break the ice – reach out, start communication, stay focused on the other person, follow up and show interest and concern.

Loneliness is cured by the party willing to be first to reach out.

Nothing is more popular currently than sports betting apps.

Think about it – we bet to win constantly in even minute ways through these sports apps.

We bet to win.

We expect a good outcome.

If we lose, we do it again betting to win and expecting a good outcome.

Aren’t the last three lines above also a great way to face daily life?

I don’t have to get out of bed, just pick up my iPad and the day is ready to go off the rails.

The usual bad news, troublesome emails, reminders of more to do then you thought.

But worse yet especially at holiday time is the negative attitudes of others that they cannot help but share with anyone who will listen.

We become like those around us.

Who gets into our head matters.

I have had many friends in the Dale Carnegie world who handle this dilemma by letting negativity roll off them and offer up something more hopeful in response.

Sometimes it matters to those who need to hear it.

But it always matters to those who can use a negative thought and substitute for a positive one.

My NYU students welcomed Derrick Aroh, RCA Records executive to class last week and what transpired is worth repeating.

Aroh flew from LA to New York City on a redeye, arrived just before class, spent an hour and a half sharing real life stories about the business my students want to be in and at the end they did something remarkable.

At the end of class, and before Aroh headed back to JFK to complete his whirlwind trip, one at a time, five students thanked Aroh in front of the entire class for traveling 3,000 miles to be with them.

But they went one better – each one shared why they were thanking him and each compliment was different.  He soaked up the sincere gratitude because instead of assuming he knew how they felt, they told him.

We have hidden powers within us to make a difference – say how you feel, back it up with an example of why and you will soon discover it.

Ever notice how people apologize unnecessarily for some things and refuse to give a believable apology for others?

“Sorry” because you disagree with someone else is not required.

“Sorry” for interrupting someone is better handled with “no, you go first”.

“Sorry” for letting someone down is better directed at you, for letting yourself down first.

When a serious apology is necessary, stand up and give a sincere apology of your choice without using the word “if” (“If I offended you, I’m sorry) because it is conditional.

Regrets are part of life that are easily fixed by never apologizing for being you and always offering a sincere apology when you have wronged someone.

Anxiety is an acquired habit.

We get it from those around us and from self-doubts within.

It has no limit so when we pile on more, it stresses us more.

And we can attract the anxiety of others just by hearing, seeing or experiencing their troubles.

There is no cure for anxiety overload that doesn’t go through you first.

The brain can be trained to differentiate between real issues that you need to deal with and those of others around you.

Preventing mental health breakdowns is not as important as having a plan of action ready for when they happen.

Every attempt to deal with anxiety, loneliness, loss of confidence, courage and burnout can be another step in preparing a plan of action for the next time.

Face it:  Anxiety isn’t going away any time soon.  But assembling the confidence to deal with its consequences is a more reliable life plan.