Multi-tasking is the enemy.

It encourages us to take on more work all at once potentially at the risk of not doing any of it better.

It also contributes to the outbreak of anxiety that we see in ourselves and our children.

Anyway, there is no reason to do more than one thing at a time.

The trick is to do less and accomplish more.

Choose 20% of everything you have to do on any given day – and thoughtfully pick the 20% that will return the most benefit and you will not need multi-tasking.

Multi-tasking also contributes to distracting us from living in the present, the only place happiness and fulfillment can be found.

More multi-tasking never made anyone happier.

A desk drawer or file folder on a digital device that contains everything that doesn’t represent 20% of the things that will bring you 80% productivity, will be able to be emptied on the first of each new month – undone, because they don’t really need to be done.

“The man who chases two rabbits catches neither” – Confucius

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Mitch Prinstein, a professor of psychology at UNC Chapel Hill, has a new book called Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status Obsessed World.

There is more than one type of popularity and many of us are seeking the wrong kind. 

Likeability “reflects kindness, benevolent leadership and selfless prosocial behavior”.

People who are likeable have more lifelong advantages and health benefits.

Those who achieve popularity by gaining status experience greater unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

Those whose goals are to be likeable using the qualities mentioned above have greater satisfaction and success.

When we chase the butterfly of happiness it eludes us.

When we let it come to us by being ourselves uninfluenced by Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or social media, we avoid the black hole of wanting to be liked so much, it has the reverse effect of making us unlikeable.

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About five years ago there was a study that asked two groups of college golfers to putt from a certain distance.

But just before one group made their first attempt, it was revealed that the putter that they were using was that of a professional golfer even though it wasn’t.

A second group was just instructed to putt.

Golfers who THOUGHT that they were using the putter of a professional golfer, made 32% more putts.

Just believing that they had a special club in their hand, improved their ability to sink putts by 32%.

We are also aware of the power of the placebo where when patients are given sugar pills.  They often get the same results as those taking the actual medicine.  This is especially true with anti-depressants.

The mind is the best asset that we are probably not using to our fullest and we can change that whenever we’re ready – even today.

If we can manage to believe in ourselves or what we’re about to do, research tells us again and again that we will do better.

Just one adjustment.

Believe in yourself before you begin.

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1) Smile.

2) Cultivate humility.

Smile at the first 15 or 20 people you see every morning no matter who they are.  You will be surprised at the positive response you get without even saying a word and you will also be happier.

A good radio personality knows that if they smile and act happy when the mic is on, they will sound and be happier.

The most alluring characteristic we are drawn to in another person after being friendly is being humble – and doing it sincerely.

People who are truly successful are comfortable in their own skin and they tend to be humble.

For those of us having a hard time believing this or who can name an arrogant person who seemingly is admired, don’t confuse accomplishments with humility.

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Hope.

When we give ourselves or others in our life hope, we make them happier.

It’s not solving everyone’s problems that cheers people up and if it does, that feeling doesn’t seem to last long.

Today, if you want to lift someone’s spirits, think about a sincere way to give them hope.

Cancer survivors live not only through the miracle of modern medicine but because of the hope that they will recover and live more of life.

Hope.

When a couple breaks up it seems like the end of the world until they finally believe that there is still someone in the world who is waiting to meet them.

Hope.

Ironically, succeeding at that which we want is often not as exciting as hoping that we will get what we want and life will be better.

This means we can give ourselves the gift of hope every day and become empowered to listen to others and look for ways to give them hope as well.

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There is only one reason any person becomes disappointed.

It’s when we let our expectations grow larger than our motivation.

I should have gotten that promotion.

I can’t meet the right person.

I was really looking forward to this weekend and now our plans are cancelled. 

Stay motivated to succeed, to be enriched by friendships and rewarded for hard work but don’t expect it.

Disappointment comes from anticipation.

Work toward what you want in the present, the only place it cannot disappoint.

It is the future that is not ours to anticipate no matter how hard we try.

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Life comes with obnoxious people but letting them ruin your day, your life or career is not necessary.

There are five ways to deal with a contemptible person.

1. Ignore them.
2. Don’t reply quickly to anything they say.
3. Prove them wrong but say it indirectly to avoid further confrontation.
4. Define your boundaries beyond which you will speak up and stop the bullying.
5. Get them out of your life (and that includes family members).

No one has to suffer a bully unless they are prepared to continue losing their self-respect.

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Taking on more responsibility and the anxiety that goes with it is no way to become more productive.

If you try to do two or three things on the way to more productivity it will not be as effective as deciding on one thing then committing everything you have to it.

Even then, when feeling overwhelmed, slow down.

Counterintuitive?

Maybe, but working faster is not as effective as working better.

Often teams assign more than one thing for participants to handle at one time.  What brings more productivity is to winnow down to the one thing that is most important at this moment, this meeting, this virtual gathering.

Once completed, the results will likely be better and you can go through another list of tasks or projects that are important.

The most productive people are often the ones who do less but are more focused on what really matters.

Just assigning work is a wish list that never comes true.

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The apology no one can resist is sincere not manipulative.

Starts with the specific thing you are sorry for.

Contains a reparation for it or promise to fix the problem.

“It’s been bothering me that I have excluded you from socializing with our friends.  I could have invited you to celebrate with our family and didn’t for which I am very sorry.  In the future, may I invite you to more social events that are with our friends or family?  I’d like that.”

I’m sorry is not embarrassing, it is empowering.

It shows we have a heart, a conscience and a hidden strength to take action to do the right thing.

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Everyone wants to be empowered, but the path toward empowerment is often more emotional than meaningful.

Strength, confidence … more control over your life.

Empowerment doesn’t come from saying it.

You can’t start today and vow that you will seek to become more empowered.

Unless and ironically, you take the focus off of you.

Helping others become stronger makes you stronger.

The mother who teaches her children that to help others win, dream big, overcome adversity and accomplish their goals retrains the brain to turning words into action for her as well.

Are words better than actions?

Make empowerment an action word to unlock the strength you have been seeking.

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