Friendships are not casual things.

Not Facebook friends or Instagram likes.  Not the neighbor across the street just because you look at each other.

Friendships are earned by caring, staying in touch, valuing each other and these friendships have no geographical limits.

Most friendships disintegrate because they do not have these qualities in the first place and without them friendships cannot withstand the test of time.

The best way to heal a broken friendship is to heal yourself first.

Friends become best friends when their relationship is more about the other person than you.

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Nothing makes people feel good like a word of encouragement.

Young people especially need this but so do adults.

Society is short on words of encouragement.

Here’s one that never fails.

“Have a day of accomplishments”.

Powerful because it reminds others of their potential and keeps them focused on doing positive things.

Accomplishments don’t have to be taking over a $4 billion company. Setting sights on small things that matter makes all the difference.

And after wishing “a day of accomplishments”, there are lots of positive conversations to follow up on in the evening.

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Work as hard at being happy as you do being healthy. 

52% of the population under 40 says anxiety is killing them.

But we go to the gym, take a walk, run, exercise to build our bodies while we often neglect our minds.

Most of us do not dedicate the same time we put aside for healthy activities to spend on personal happiness.  If we did it would be transformative.

The goal of working out is often cardio.

The goal of training happiness is to find ways to be grateful for what we have and who we have.

That includes ourselves.

When was the last time you said, “I am grateful for being me” and count your blessings?  Grateful for others?  Grateful for the life you are having?

Spend the same amount of time on gratitude as you do health and you will gain two benefits.

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• Reach out and start a conversation with someone new
• Give your most precious gift of time to someone else
• Turn off your phone and be a parent, friend or employer 100% in the now
• Ban the word can’t and don’t for an entire morning
• Be a friend — listen and resist the temptation to match their woes with yours

Life is more than just being places and doing things.

Make a difference by being first to reach out and touch people.

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Plan a great ending.

We remember endings.

You’ll remember the event more while it happens and after it happens if you plan a great ending.

Having a bad day?

Plan a great ending.

Usually a down day goes from bad to worse but we have the power to finish big and we’re likely to remember the ending not a day that isn’t going your way.

At the end of work make a list of accomplishments

Think of things for which you are grateful 

And people you are grateful to have in your life 

It’s wrong to think that we have to succumb to negativity when we have the power to end on a positive note.

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Every activity that doesn’t involve a screen makes us happier.

That’s the research of a survey of 8^th, 10^th and 12^th graders that has been conducted continuously since 1991.

Even homework (yes, I did a double take, too) makes them happier than staring at a screen or getting lost in the black hole of social media.

Playing sports, exercising, reading – all rate higher on the teen’s happiness scale than being involved with a digital device.

Computer games, social media, texting, video chat, watching TV – all get worse marks on the teen’s happiness scale.

People who gave up Facebook for a week were happier, less lonely and less depressed.

How to live with our digital devices is a big deal.

Parents push them on kids who have not developed their social skills.

Adults find themselves withdrawing into their digital screens.

No pills, no headshrinkers, no counseling necessary.

Adult or child – come back to life in the present even with its ups and downs.  Research shows you’ll be happier.

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It’s from Angela Ahrendts the high-powered Apple executive who earlier in her career was told by a random human resources manager that she needed to make changes if she ever wanted to be CEO material.

So Ahrendts went off to meet with a career coach for several days but lasted only a few hours.

Here’s how Ahrendts tells it:

“By lunchtime the first day, I just looked at them and I said, ‘I gotta go. I don’t want to be somebody that I’m not. I like me, and I’ve been pretty successful so far being me and I was raised in a really big family. And, you know, my mom liked me, my friends liked me … I don’t care about a title or a position. You know I have to wake up with me every morning, and I want to be the best version of myself. I don’t want to be this person you’re trying to make me, so I’m really sorry but I have to go.’ So, I left, and literally a month later got the call to become the CEO of Burberry.”

Authentic people are addictive.

People like to work with them and follow their lead.

But to earn your cred, you must genuinely like and accept yourself the way you are to maximize your potential.

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True happiness is when you can appreciate things that you didn’t ask for.

It’s why you will never see a truly happy control freak.

When we get what we want it isn’t long before we don’t want it anymore.

Then we want something else.

Not that some goals and desires aren’t good – just that they aren’t the answer to true happiness that comes from being grateful for that which you have not that which you want.

Be accepting of all the good things that come into your life without having to ask for them.

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Find something nice to tell someone.

We often know many nice things that we never share.

Focus on one.

“It was so nice of you to do that charity walk”

“You didn’t have to do that (thing), it was so nice of you”

“Thanks for spending a few minutes to chat with me.  I know you are busy”

Without sincerity, it would just be manipulation, but when you simply share something nice you have observed about others, they will become appreciative of you.

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38%    Keep their phone in handbag or pocket when meeting people

32%   Turn off audio notifications

27%    Keep their phone in bag or pocket when alone

26%    Delete apps that encourage more use

26%    Turn phone off at night

(Source: Deloitte Global Mobile Consumer Survey)

We check our phones 47 or more times a day

80% check our phones within an hour after arising and going to sleep

85% use a Smartphone even as they talk to family

47% have tried to limit phone usage in the past and 30% have claimed to be successful

All these statistics are fun but the moment we decide to reenter the real world and put phones in their proper place is the time when stress will be reduced and we discover the real meaning of the term smartphones.

The phone isn’t the only thing that has to be smart.

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