That’s the question my music students frequently asked.

Their parents understandably wanted them to have another way to earn a living just in case.

But “just in case” is an economic solution not a career solution.

You never stop chasing your dream.

That’s the only answer if you want to be happy.

In fact, the more elusive it is, the more opportunity you have to find out how badly you really want it.

It may change or may become bigger and bolder or less so.

Imagine if all the people in the world who dared to dream never gave up.

The biggest roadblock to achieving that which we have a passion for is allowing ourselves to believe for whatever reason – money, age, time to grow up – that there is a time or reason to stop dreaming.

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Carter Hart, the NHL Philadelphia Flyers goalie prospect of the future is about to turn 20 and to celebrate becoming a pro, Hart deleted his Twitter account.

Says there no point in it.

“You see a lot of news and stuff, and whether it’s positive or negative, you just don’t want to hear that stuff. For me, I just try to stay away from it and worry about what I’m doing and where I’m at right now.”

The best way to focus is to avoid distractions.

Social media consumes us with likes and follows.  We see people arguing over politics, often being nasty to each other.  The bad sometimes rivals the good.

Two things.

Disconnect or at least step back from the black hole of social media and see how much more focused you can become. 

And, recapture valuable time wasted on being buried in devices to follow people that often don’t matter to you.

It doesn’t take a lot to refocus your life with people, places and dreams that have more of a chance coming true in the here and now than glued to a screen on a digital device.

What really makes you happy is so possible the more often you can focus on it.

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I hated the toughest boss I ever had.

He was a news director who required his newscasters to write all-new copy every half hour and find new news and audio.

He listened to every broadcast.

Called in and ripped you if your broadcast didn’t meet his approval.

It was the only job I hated in radio and now I know I love the guy.

He made me realize I really wanted to be a radio program director which I then went on to do – not a news reporter.

I swore I would never write another word after working for him, but I went on to a career in publishing resembling his tough style of reporting.

I owe him my writing and reporting skills.

Sometimes the best jobs we will ever have will be working for people we can’t stand.

Proving that having to endure tough employers may be more life changing than working for a pushover.

As long as we eventually move on to take what we’ve learned about them, us and what we do to achieve further success.

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I

Me 

My 

Mine.

These words are killers of relationships, conversations, collaborations, trust and love.

They are egocentric and have nothing to do with another human being.

I overhead the word I so many times on the beach recently that I felt sorry for the other person suffering through this monologue.

I read recently of a new trend toward marrying yourself – sologamy.

It’s not legal and not binding but some people are so egocentric that they have no interest in a union with another person.  Self-focus robs us of rich friendships.

Most of us feel great when we are part of a community.

When we forge relationships of all kinds with others.

You.

That’s the word that unlocks relationships.

Your interests.

Your feelings.

Your experiences.

Your knowledge.

Let others use self-talk while you talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

What makes you empowered is never about self but always how you get others to talk about themselves.

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Receiving the message is more important than our ability to say it.

We may want to be honest about how we feel but is it wise to tell everyone?

The most important person is you.

How do you feel?

Do you know?  Are you guessing?  Or avoiding?

Equally important is who gets to know.

This is truly empowering.

I won’t tell someone my innermost thoughts unless they are a friend I trust.

I talk politics to people with open minds even if we are polar opposites but I have noticed Facebook is filled with people who even say “feel free to unfriend me if you disagree”.  False courage.

I will share my thoughts and ideas with others where I work and hopefully use a lot of human relations skills in putting them forward.

Being bold does not mean being confident.

Being secretive does not mean being careful. 

When you think about having the courage to say how you feel, think first of who is going to receive the message and let that be your guide.

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Learn to say no.

You can get fancy with ways to deal with the suffocating feeling of being overwhelmed or you could begin saying no.

Say no – with no guilt.  Why sabotage yourself with guilt?

You can offer to revisit the things that are overwhelming you now at a later date but no promises.

Yes, you can say no at work – especially at work.  Come up with a better alternative that you can live with and you are more likely to exceed the  expectations of employers.

Just knowing you have the ability to say no makes things easier on you.

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When hurt by someone else, own it.

If that person keeps hurting you, stop the abuse.

One person’s hurtful comments do not represent all those who care about you. 

Often people hurt others because of their own shortcomings such as jealousy and lack of self-confidence.  

100% of the time when someone is making you feel bad, you are allowing them to do it.

You are the guardian of your own self esteem.

Avoid outsourcing it to others.

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Our obsession with getting things done comes down to this.

What are the 3 most important things you need to do to call today a success?

We tend to work on the easier tasks, the ones that can be completed faster than the most important.

Spend all your focus on these 3 things and nothing else.

In fact you’ll wind up doing more than 3 things but the critical ones will be handled.

1.  Identify the 3 critical things that will make you more productive today.

2.  Do nothing else until those 3 things are completed.

3.  If one of the big 3 turns out to be a multi-step, multi-day project, identify the next most important start step and tackle it.

4. Avoid the black hole of productivity.  Resist the temptation to knock off a few easier things because they are, well – easier.

5. You will find yourself being more productive with time left to fill in with smaller, less critical tasks but rest assured that these leader tasks will not interfere with your ability to accomplish goals.

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We’re obsessed with likes, follows and gathering as many social media friends as we can.

Here’s another plan.

Winnow down to fewer friends and spend more quality time with them.

There is no virtue in going for numbers and monitoring who likes your postings.

One true friend can be a life changer.

Why spend valuable time tapping out conversations with those who do not matter at the expense of those who do.

Friendship takes nurturing.

It is best appreciated when friendships are focused on the present.

A true friend deserves nothing less.

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There’s nothing that can be done to make a person care about a project, a person or anything if they are not already motivated to do it.

Spend your efforts on that which you care about and the people who matter to you the most.

When it is critical to win the cooperation of others, find their hot button but don’t confuse it for how you may feel.

We spend too much of our time trying to change people and that is a dead-end strategy.

Often in trying to wake up others we loser some of our own enthusiasm.

Let your enthusiasm carry the day.

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