There are different ways to handle this in the age of attention deficit and digital distractions.

When texting, one thought per text. 

When emailing, any more than one thought, they should be numbered.  No paragraph bigger than one sentence if possible.   

To be effective, appeal to the other person’s self-absorption to gain their attention (example:  “To help you reach our department’s end of the month goals, I’d like to offer this idea”). 

Anyone who can get the other person to accurately repeat back that which you’re saying has effectively delivered the message.

Leaving a phone message today is like talking to yourself – just call, text or email. 

When someone refuses to acknowledge what you are saying, repeat it again the same way as if they didn’t hear it because they didn’t.

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Only do three screen scrolls on Facebook and Instagram once a day – physically put a limit on these black attention holes where we get lost too long. 

Organize your phone into 3-4 screens followed by folders – put attention wasters like social media, news sites, music into these folders so you know when you enter to be aware that you are losing the battle. 

Make it a practice to not open the phone in a bathroom, waiting room or place where you could interact with people or life – at least try.  

Choosing to be on the phone instead of with a child, mate or someone you like even if THEY are lost in digital space is your unacceptable excuse to do the same.

Phones off after a certain hour.  Period.

No work by phone after a certain hour (The French have this one as a law). 

The phone is neither a sitter nor an educator, it’s a tool not a life. 

No phones during a meal (saying you need to leave it on the table to monitor a babysitter is a nice try).

Finally accept that phones and social media that are conducted on them are addictive and without strong resolve, they will rob their users of life and relationships.

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We can be our own worst enemy.

The troubling voice in our heads – that inner critic – becomes comfortable tearing down confidence and self-esteem.  If others don’t do it, we learn to do it.

Change the inner critic that is holding you back.

Defend yourself – don’t allow verbal attacks to go unaddressed.

Speak up and advocate for yourself – it is not the job of others to be our advocates.  We must go first.

Don’t avoid the criticism that stimulates your inner critic – deal with it in a positive way that encourages growth.

Learning to confront and battle your inner critic takes time – it’s not possible to push it away with any one move.

Start now.

Live a life of approval and acceptance from the most important person in your life – you.

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Ask anyone what they did wrong and you’ll get an immediate answer and a long list.

Ask them what they did right and you’ll have a long wait for a short answer.

Handling failure requires moving on.

A bad day is not a bad life.

Failing to accomplish goals is a good thing.

Doubting yourself creates more failure.

Forget everything bad that ever happened and give it 100% of the best you have to offer.

Batting 1.000 isn’t realistic.

Showing up 1000% of the time with your best stuff – that’s how to train the mindset of a winner.

Let go of excuses and focus on the next thing.

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We now spend 11 hours a day interacting with media – phones, Kindles, TV, music – this according to a recent Nielsen study.

4 hours and 46 minutes watching television.

40 minutes on inter-connected devices (video games, smart TV).

Computers, phones and tablets 3 hours and 48 minutes and more.

Any reduction in some or all of these and other digital media distractions would render more time to live, love and interact with people and places you enjoy.

So why don’t we bite the bullet and fix this?

There’s work, stay in touch with the sitter, the black hole of social media where it’s hard to stop scrolling.

Digital devices are addictive and we have an addiction.

These are tools – powerful tools that also bring us a connection and a way to avoid being in the present.

Phones are like morphine pumps that are used to kill the pain after surgery – put it in your hand (just like a phone) and press the button as often as necessary.

A smartphone is only truly smart when you’re in control not the other way around.

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You believe in them first.

If you can live without someone else concurring.

If you can muster enough confidence to believe in you.

But if your dreams have to be approved by others first, they are not your dreams.

To make all things possible, you must be committed to do the impossible. 

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Starting today, see yourself in the …

Top ten percent of your company’s productive workers.

Top ten percent for marriages and relationships.

Top ten percent in health and fitness.

Top ten percent in effective use of human relations.

Top ten percent among those weaning themselves off of too much phone use.

Top ten percent at spending time with the family.

Top ten percent of people who actually pursue their dreams with passion.

Top ten percent of meaningful friendships.

Even aim to be in the top ten percent of your upcoming class reunion.

Sometimes all that is needed to improve is to see a top ten percentile goal vividly in your mind’s eye.

Without it, the results are unpredictable.

With it, the outcomes are guaranteed to be better.

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1. Talk kindly to yourself.  Become your own coach.  Good coaches build on positives, negative coaches get fired.
2. Become skilled at using effective human relations.  There is still no better way to gain an edge than to master the principles in Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People.  (Hint, buy the paperback.  Rip out one chapter at a time until you master it then go on).
3. Admit mistakes.  You want to be the person who can say “I was wrong” and why sincerely because that breeds confidence that sticks with you when you need it most.
4. Defend your boundaries.  Push away abusers and bullies even if they are related to you or you work closely with them.  No confidence ever comes from tolerating a bully or an abusive person.

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Totally change your routines.

If you drive to work one way, go another way.

Usually bring lunch? Eat out.

Shy away from conversation, start one.

Stuck in a job, in the next hour take a step toward exploring a new one.

Going nowhere in a relationship?  Part ways but take time off before entering another one to avoid making the same choice again.

Ruts can be things that formerly excited us.

Waiting for the perfect person, situation or opportunity to come along is a dead-end road – don’t postpone living 100% now.

The most important way to get out of a rut is to get in touch with your instincts, listen to them and never doubt them.

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Don’t talk.

Ask questions.

Endless questioning going deeper and deeper into the conversation.

And it has nothing to do with being outgoing.

People think a great conversationalist is a person who says all the right things, can be witty, intelligent, interesting – all at once.

It’s the other way around.

Ask question after question – do it sincerely — and you will make a friend for life.

The irony is, a good conversationalist is not a person who does all the talking but the one who does all the listening.

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