What ever happened to no?

No, I’m not going to eat dinner with my phone on the table.

No, I’m not going to let those around me infect me with things that they fear.

No, I’m not going to knock myself even as I try as hard as I can to succeed.

No, I refuse to give up. I’ll be back.

No, I will not look to others for things that are missing in me because I will become hopelessly codependent.

No, I will never believe that fear can control me.

Anxiety is a baseless fear.

Worry is how we usually respond to it.

Fighting negativity is how we overcome anxiety.

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We often over time become the people who surround us for better or worse.

You can keep your friends even when you are aware of qualities in them that you don’t like.

Or, you can open your world to new influences by reaching out and looking around.

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “I have enough friends”.

Numbers don’t count – quality is everything.

Some people lose good friends because they are under the influence of not so good friends.

An underrated decision in life is who you choose as friends.

Proceed carefully because you most assuredly become like them.

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Dale Carnegie sent us this advice long before cellphones and stress that we live with now.

Try this.

From the time you wake up, see how long it takes to find just one person who is happy and not obsessed with something wrong.

You may wait a while.

Living in a world that is so connected and yet dysfunctional makes it easy to be down and hard to be optimistic.

I have the flu, but I’ll be over it soon and better again.

I’m employed even though I may not love my job however I can find another one.

I feel loss in my life but I embrace the time I spent with that special person.

The traffic jams get worse every day, but I persist because I am happy to go where this commute takes me.

I haven’t found my soulmate yet but the fun is looking.

Science has confirmed: count your blessings not life’s stressors and it neurologically changes the hard wiring in your brain.

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If you have to have brain surgery, you want a perfectionist doing the operation.

Have dinner at an expensive restaurant, you expect the chef to be a perfectionist.

The problem is being a perfectionist kills personal happiness.

What to do?

Perfection is the goal, a worthy goal.

But not guilt, because you are imperfect.

Or worthless because you couldn’t bat 1.000.

Perfectionists often see themselves the way they think others see them.

That’s ego, not perfection.

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“There’s no time to lose, I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain’t life unkind?

Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger
Ruby Tuesday lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc

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The odd thing about burnout is that the only way out of it is to slow down.

More lists create more stress with arguable results. 

Doing less cuts stress with better results.

Think of the weight you carry on your shoulders and how adding a fast fix will feel even more burdensome. 

Burnout starts to ease the moment you say slow down. 

Prioritizing helps you slow down.

The feeling that you’re not accomplishing something is the sure way to know you are winning the battle against burnout.

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Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a 1984 car accident, eventually came back to play the drums for this band with one arm and a foot.

We are reminded of this because Def Leppard was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

You may have heard the term “one-armed paperhanger” but Rick Allen overcoming the adversity of losing an arm in his profession is no joke. He teared up at the induction ceremony to lots of sustained applause.

The adversity may be physical but the advantage is always in the mind.

Believe.

Achieve.

Overcome.

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So, I met a very nice person in King of Prussia a few weeks ago who told me that she knows that she is doing too much for her children and is concerned about it.

Tying their shoes for them – they are 11.

Carrying their sports equipment from the car when they are athletic enough to handle it.

Chauffeuring them when school is just around the corner.

Still she feels badly.

Same applies to our individual lives.

Young people also feel like they are overwhelmed – that they lack the confidence to succeed because they are afraid to fail.

Too much means too much guilt.

Too much also means creating too much anxiety.

Trying to avoid adversity robs us of the tools that train us to handle adversity.

Replace “too much” with “I trust that you can do it”.

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I heard someone say “I’m doing my best but it’s not good enough”.

What?

Your best is always good enough – it’s your best.

When we let ourselves believe that everything we have to offer is still not enough, we are the problem.

All my effort – that’s the best I can give.

All my sincerity exhausts what I have inside.

All my intelligence means I have turned my curiosity loose to be open to learn more – do that and it is the best that you can do.

I’m the best spouse and father I can be – if you give all you’ve got, you succeeded in spite of any criticism.

Confusing our best with how to get better is what’s killing us.

Your best is everything you can muster and that’s also how we get better.

No employee review, criticism from a mate, harsh judgment from yourself will make you better.

Just be the fine person you are and note the difference.

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Sunday, Tiger Woods won the Masters Tournament for the fifth time.

And a major golf event for the fifteenth time – three shy of all-time leader Jack Nicklaus.

After numerous back surgeries.

Scandal in his personal life.

Struggles in his chosen career.

Adversity is best when used as the ultimate motivator to achieve your goals.

It’s not just for the stars, the heroes, public figures.

Woods’ triumph over all odds reminds us that it can happen to anyone who refuses to quit and uses their adversity to find success.

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