Why do we get stuck on going nowhere?

Not advancing our careers, shaking up our relationships and tolerating things we know in our hearts will not make us happy.

It’s the fear of losing something that we’ve become accustomed to even if we’re losing something that is not making us happier or richer.

Fear of losing what is hurting us – sounds insane, except we know it’s true.

Getting unstuck is like a rubber band.

The more we stretch it, the bigger it gets.

If we pop it, just grab another one and start over.

Pushing and pulling ourselves off of what we accept as normal is the first and most effective way to get unstuck.

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Betting on you is the sure thing.

So why don’t we do it more?

Other voices make us question our confidence, vision and ability.

We let negativity drown out our dreams and desires.

Too young to succeed, too old to make it happen.

It is as if we can’t follow our dreams and hold down a job at the same time.

Betting against people is a fool’s bet.

Think of your contemporaries in high school and college who never impressed you until they went on to do something impressive.  And the ones who were “most likely to” often fizzled.

Doubt is always overcome by desire.

Never let anyone question your desire.

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I don’t want to be respected by people I don’t respect.

I won’t look up to those who look down on me or others.

Respect starts in the mirror.

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Why are we so hard on ourselves?

That’s when people give up and when they do this enough they become defeated.

Take a vow to lay off criticizing yourself.

Can’t stop?  Then at least promise to think of something you do very well every time you focus on what is wrong.

Stop relying on other people to buck you up.  Our happiness is in our hands not outsourced to someone else who we may blame later.

I am a hard worker. 

I care about people. 

I am dependable. 

I am the exact person I would go to if I needed a friendly ear.

As fallible as I am, I am awesome because I always care. 

Negative talk from our own mouths is what bums us.

Change the tune and get a lift.

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Help someone else get what they want first.

No one is more motivated to help you than the person you have already assisted.

If you want a promotion, help the boss get recognized, rewarded or promoted – most (but admittedly not all) bosses will know where the extra juice came from. 

If something means the world to you, can you name what means the world to the person who can help you get it? 

The road to satisfaction always passes through the lives of someone else first. 

You can usually get what you want if you sincerely can help the person who can give you what you want.

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Golfers who hit their ball off the fairway into the rough or beyond often start searching for it further away than it fell.

Golfers are wishful thinkers.

And they’re stubborn.

They keep looking for their ball in the spot that is way beyond where it actually landed.

That’s why you’ll often see them only resort to walking back to keep searching.

Everywhere else, why do we assume that whatever we’ve done is quite good enough – didn’t advance as far as we like?

What helps us the next time is how high or far we are willing to aim this time.

Optimism begins when pessimism is eliminated from our lives.

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More than 50% of Americans say they are overstretched, anxious or experiencing toxic stress that affects their health and happiness.

Cutting stress is like a diet – it may work for a while and then the stress returns.

Here’s how to get stress under control by changing the way you look at it.

Focus on only one thing at a time – yes, do not multitask, you pay a high price for efficiency gained by becoming more distracted.

Prioritize all day long – right now, what’s the most important thing you need to do? In a minute or an hour that may change so reshuffle priorities to wind up with the one thing to work on next.

Put all worries, concerns or fears in the back of your mind and deal with them at a time later in the day when you’re not under the gun.

Feel free to let others know when you have reached maximum stress level not by complaining but by asking for help.  Example:  Can I have an extra day to work on this project or does it need to be done now.  Often the next day will be agreeable.

And the big cure for being overwhelmed …

Actually slow down – the slower you go, the faster you accomplish things the first time. 

And pat yourself on the back when you’ve been able to shed the anxiety that living in a fast-paced world brings us.

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What is it with people who feel good when they leave others out?

With social media, it doesn’t even take courage – just a few ill-considered taps on the phone.

Being left out hurts and requires strength of character from which to rebound.

Say things like this …

When I am feeling badly about being left out or not included in some way, I am going to reach out to someone else and include them.  

The difference between being hurt and being angry is hurt will pass, angry will either make you someone you don’t want to be or eat at you.

Love yourself.  People who do are also loved by others. Those of us who get needy become vulnerable to hurtful people.

Distance yourself from people who abandon you — no good can come from it.

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You can’t dictate when that will be, but you can say when your quest is to begin.

Do you have a dream?  Can you name it?

What?

Only one?

In your career, what do you see yourself doing to gain rich fulfillment and success?

In your personal life, what is the dream for you and the special people in your lives?

What is your God-given gift – are you going to pursue it or just walk around knowing what it is? 

A few weeks ago I mentioned the importance of a dream and a scheme – a plan to advance you toward that which will ultimately bring you satisfaction.

More money is not a dream.

Becoming more powerful is lust not self-satisfaction. 

Trying to be liked by all, a fool’s errand.

Your dream is something only you know and the moment you identify it, acknowledge it and safeguard it from the negativity of others, will you be on your way to realizing it.

Not if – but in a matter of time which begins today.

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Call someone who has lost a loved one this past year to help them through their grief at holiday time. 

Do something you never usually do – take a vacation alone, or a day by yourself.  Ask anyone who has traveled alone for the first time and ask them how many people they met.  Be courageous and reap the benefits. 

Bring a gift to someone ill or needy.

When I was working at a Philadelphia radio station, I spent one memorable Christmas Eve at the Moss Rehabilitation Center horrified as little children with advanced arthritis sped down the hallways in the prone position on skateboard type devices.  When they were ready for bed, I went room to room and handed them each a radio.  I got the real gift that warms me until this day.

Try to spend at least some time with the kindest, most considerate person you know doing anything as long as it is with them. 

Stay off of Facebook and social media that has been proven to make users lonelier.

Next year you may be closer to friends or a special person may have entered your life, but today you have yourself – the specialist gift you ever receive.

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good – The Advantages of Disadvantages here.