Create an atmosphere of approval and acceptance.

Everyone craves approval and acceptance.  It’s a wonder why we withhold it so much.

How would you like to be treated?

That what we are is good enough at the least and maybe even better than that.

The feeling that we are believed.

The person who has the capability of sincerelyoffering approval and acceptance to others, will gain their confidence in the most meaningful way.

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Give them support instead.

Who likes criticism? Who is more motivated after they hear what’s wrong with them and with their ideas?

I know what you’re thinking. What if they (or you) really want guidance?

Then give guidance – positive steps that support not criticize.

I’ll bet you whoever invented constructive criticism never wanted to hear it.

Because criticism is not constructive.

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That’s true not only of merchandise and services but ideas and concepts.

If you have a great idea for your team, spend much of your effort into getting them to buy it from you rather than have you sell it to them. 

If you have a daughter or son who could benefit from your wisdom, don’t push it, get them to buy it from you.

Buy-in is everything. 

The control that people spend so much time chasing after is nothing compared to allowing someone to willfully arrive at your way of thinking.

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When everything goes right, we expect it to continue.

When everything goes wrong, we know it will continue.

Ending failure thoughts that haunt us is as simple as saying no to the fear of failure.

It’s not about big egos or overwhelming confidence.

Failure thoughts can bring a super confident person down quickly.

It’s about betting on yourself.

You may in fact fail, screw up at the highest level, be a victim of bad luck or circumstances but you will absolutely and positively never trash yourself not even for a second.

Nothing that is worth a person’s time or energy is worth harboring fear-driven thoughts of not succeeding.

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There are more solutions than problems you can think of.

For every problem, there isn’t just one possible solution, but many.

The trick is to immediately start focusing on all the possiblesolutions and not reiterating the problem over and over in so many different words.

Knowing there are more solutions than problems we could have, gives confidence and reassurance that our big dilemma is not the problem itself but choosing which one of the many solutions will solve it.

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Take Eagles wide receiver Alshon Jeffery.

He literally dropped a perfect pass that would likely have completed a victorious comeback in a recent NFL playoff game against the New Orleans Saints.

He was so distraught, the team lifted him up reminding Jeffery that the Eagles would not have won the Super Bowl last year without him.

Still, how do you live with yourself when you let others down?

Let’s consult a West Chester second grader who wrote the prescription in a letter to him.

Take notes.

I love you!  (Don’t start hating on yourself) 

My whole family was rooting for you!  (Someone has your back)

Don’t give up on playing football,” she wrote. “Keep practicing. Don’t get mad easily, I know you can do it. We all know you are a good player.” (Learn from your mistake and don’t give up).

Alshon Jeffery was so impressed with this advice, he made a surprise visit to Abigail’s second grade class because in this case, Abigail had the wisdom to know what we should all do when for whatever reason we drop the ball letting ourselves and others down.

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Haters use love to get to people giving compliments one moment and then overreacting the next.

It seems the world is full of haters because we are so connected on digital devices and in real time.

The best way to handle a hater is not to be one.

Not even to get back at them when they do something hurtful.

Dislike the deed not the person. 

Forgive, but don’t forget.

Take control of the one narrative that matters most – the life you want to live.

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We’re not born with self-control.

If we’re lucky others show us by example or we develop it on our own.

Reminding yourself when you have resisted reacting instead of responding helps build and reinforce the confidence to keep inappropriate anger in its place.

Focus on what’s being done right.

Anger is appropriate when it expresses a feeling without hurt.

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It’s not what other people think that holds us back.

It’s how we look at ourselves.

But that person is not you.

What you are today is you.

More important than failing to become that which you are not is to never stop trying.

No one perfect lives on this earth.

Be the fine person you are.

Don’t look to anyone else to tell you that.

Look at yourself favorably and others will do the same.

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Chasing happiness is like trying to net a butterfly – better to let it come to you.

Even the worst day can be followed by the next better day. 

The more it hurts, the more it helps to be grateful (especially for little things).

Fear of something bad drags us down, but evidence proves our fears are ill-conceived 99% of the time – and the 1% doesn’t happen the way we feared it. 

You can catch another person’s bad mood or negativity with regular exposure to them – run.

Fulfillment translates into happiness – set a goal each day and accomplish it because the feeling of accomplishment soothes a lot of unhappy thoughts. 

Stress is a killer – of relationships, happiness, health – so practice letting go of trying to control what is out of control and you will finally be in control.

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