Research studies show we are happier, less depressed, anxious or stressed when we are kind and loving to ourselves.

Name the person who loves you the most then look at yourself the way they do. 

Don’t judge yourself – to do so will cause more fear and anxiety. 

Being compassionate to ourselves makes us more compassionate to others. 

Believe the good things about you and not so readily always accept the bad things you hear. 

We spend a lot of time talking about the importance of being compassionate, but compassion must start with you.

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Intentional or not, when other people get into our heads with can’t do thoughts, discouragement follows.

If everything has to be right to maintain a positive attitude, we won’t be having many positive attitudes about life.

Resist discouragement.

Let no one into your subconscious – only you get to record in your mind.

For every negative thought, counter with a positive thought.

The more negative the feeling, the more positive the response. 

When you focus on hard work above immediate and continuing gratification, you become discourage-proof.

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There is no such thing as failure. 

There are just setbacks until we make them permanent.

Failure is an early warning of success that is yet to happen. 

Learn to welcome mistakes large and small. 

To give up, be discouraged or feel worthless is like leaving before you get the prize.

As hard as it is, purge all failure thoughts from your mind. 

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Celebrate!!

A big victory is coming your way.

In doing research for my book several years ago, I was surprised and encouraged to find people who had to not only overcome the odds to become the successes they were BUT also the doubts that came from those around them.

The difference was rather than being discouraged by the discouragement of others – even people very close to them – they made it a rally cry picturing how sweet it would be to be able to “show them”.

Except when they achieved eventual success, they had little interest in showing anyone their anger.

They learned that when the world seems to be against you, start a line – a line that forms behind you – to not be deterred from staying true to your dreams, ambitions and goals.

Belief in self is 90% of success.

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Some people just can’t bring themselves to admit they are wrong and it’s too bad because being so wrong can also be so right.

Apologize quickly and with enthusiasm.

Mean it.  Do not use the word “but” in your apology  And do not make it about you.  It’s about the person who was wronged.

Since no one is perfect we should apologize many times a day and feel good about it.

Apologizing is what the bigger person does.

Living life harboring a wrongdoing is the burden that prevents us from being who we want to be.

Today, search for apologies big and small you can make.

Everyone wins.

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How much stress is this worth to me?

Just asking this question when fear, worry, stress and anxiety begin to creep in helps individuals become instantly aware that they will be paying a price with their physical and psychological health if they don’t put an immediate limit on anxiety.

Pressure and stress go unchecked because they are exponential.

Asking the question puts a stop/loss on worry.

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The prolific author and motivator Wayne Dyer did a bit on one of his PBS specials about the flu.

People expect the flu.

They can tell you when they usually get it.  What happens to them every year when they do and how long it lasts with a bunch of painful memories sprinkled in.

I have a friend who when she feels something coming on says out loud, “Joanne doesn’t get sick”.

The people Dyer referred to came down with the flu as expected almost as if they deserved it, he would add.

I don’t remember a day Joanne suffered from the flu, virus or even the common cold.

But there is something to the power of expectation.

If you expect good things, you tend to get them and if you expect bad, it shows up right on time.

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This is not possible without first embracing the fine person you already are.

Flawed, yes – aren’t we all — but a work in progress nonetheless.

“Better” can’t happen to a person you don’t like and accept.

No self-improvement sticks to anyone who doesn’t first appreciate the fine person they already are.

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Look back 90 days to reassess that you, indeed, know what you are doing and are able to focus on successes and not constantly ward off the fear of failing.

I call this Lori’s Law after my friend Lori Lewis who understands the battle for our own minds is won by documenting in writing all that we have achieved.

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We become like the people who surround us.

If we were raised in a can-do, uplifting family, that positivity becomes our DNA.

Around negative people, friends with unending problems, co-workers obsessed with how they hate their jobs and their lives – that, too becomes contagious.

Just as people can make others laugh, they can also make them see the dark side.

Some workarounds:

Those who learn to identify the negativity have a chance to counteract it

Deflect it and move on 

Avoid fights, arguments or critical words to “downers”, it just paves the way for more negativity. 

You always have a choice to see the upside or the downside. 

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