When in doubt, assume you can.

Think of negative thoughts heard, read or communicated like the stench of a skunk so you can wake up and get away from it.

For every complaint balance an appreciation.

When others gossip, leave the conversation.

Don’t become the people you are around, let them be more like you.

Push back against bullies, cut off their oxygen.

Never ask or accept criticism, a real helper would never offer it.

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People who try to gain an advantage by doing, saying or having “better things” than someone else practice the destructive behavior of one-upmanship.

How to defend?

Be non-defensive, refuse to participate, don’t engage in a power struggle where you resort to the same tactics, let the person suck all the oxygen out of the room.

Dealing with one-upmanship at work requires the ability to let everyone know that you are reinterpreting the attack on you as an attack on the problem making certain the other person knows you want to solve the problem and will establish some new ground rules.

In all of this, let the offender be aggressive while the solution is always non-aggressive.

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I was painfully shy as a child growing up in the suburbs of Pennsylvania so much so my teachers told my parents that they should put me into a theater group. I hated it.

I loved radio and loved music – I practiced being a dj in my room using a tape recorder I bought from mowing lawns.

Radio allowed me to overcome my shyness.

What was thought to be an insurmountable obstacle turned out to be the stimulus to overcome a perceived disadvantage.

Adversity is a gift that is handed to us from time to time.

When it arrives, anticipate that adversity will introduce you to yourself.

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Why look to others for that which we think we don’t see in ourselves?

No outsourcing our self-esteem to someone else to win approval.

No putting the way we feel about ourselves into the hands of others and thereby risking being controlled.

We are the ultimate inner source of confidence.

If we believe it, it is so.

If we doubt it, we’re forced to look to others for it.

Inner self confidence comes from loving yourself enough to believe that you are a fine person with the ability to succeed.

Self-confidence is a decision not a feeling.

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The ability to recover quickly from difficulties is a growing problem.

When something bad happens, we often start questioning ourselves and our ability to deal with it.

Toughness.

The odd thing about being more resilient is that it doesn’t just come to us when we need it – it’s all that preparation when we don’t.

1. Developing a strong network of friends.

2. Becoming more positive in how you feel about yourself.

3. Knowing your sense of purpose in life.

4. Learning to embrace change.

5. Remaining optimistic.

6. Liking yourself.

Resilience is the ability to spring back after adversity hits and preparation begins before the difficulties arise.

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Three qualities:

1) Integrity
2) Intelligence
3) Energy

But here’s the thing according to Buffett: “If they didn’t have the first, the other two would kill them, because if they don’t have integrity, you want them dumb and lazy.”

Integrity is the killer quality. Those who have it and cultivate it in a world that challenges integrity for expedience then it is even more valuable than a college education, who you know and whatever money that is available to you.

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We can’t predict the weather even with a phone in our hand and the storm headed straight for us.

We got caught on the beach exactly like that with radar on the phone and the thunderstorm with lightning changed its mind and defied the radar and our eyes.

More important than predicting the weather is feeling certain that we can adapt to it – after all, Mother Nature constantly defies AccuWeather.

The ability to be nimble, handle problems, respond to an emergency, take advantage of good luck when it comes our way, hunkering down when we see things turning bad.

Living for a perfect day is a long wait.

Being able to deal with whatever comes our way is more valuable than trying to predict whether good times are ahead.

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As a Dale Carnegie instructor, I often used this list to summarize the many benefits of becoming skilled in excellent human relations.

Focus on one phrase and when you’ve mastered it, move on to the next until you have made these 7 principles part of your life.

The SIX Most Important Words: “I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE”

The FIVE Most Important Words: “YOU DID A GOOD JOB!”

The FOUR Most Important Words: “WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?”

The THREE Most Important Words: “IF YOU PLEASE”

The TWO Most Important Words: “THANK YOU!”

The ONE Most Important Word: “WE”

The LEAST Important Word: “I”

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Trying to win a person over by being someone you’re not will leave you with an empty feeling.

After all, if they like you – the real you – then you have plenty more where that came from.

Even if you gain the approval of one person by catering to them, which you shows up for the next person?

There is only one you.

It’s good enough as is – only you get to decide how to make it better.

The people who are admired most are those who are comfortable in their own skin. Who knows it isn’t important to make everyone like them – just respect them for being unique.

First seek your own approval and you will find many fans who like you as you are.

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Being compatible is not the key ingredient to a happy relationship.

Seeking out a kind person is according to a new study by Michigan State of 2,500 couples who have been married about 20 years.

Who knew? Certainly not online dating apps that aim for bringing people together based on what they have in common.

Instead of “what do we have in common” it is “are they a nice person”.

Shared interests, personality traits and similar interests had little to no impact on relationship happiness.

As it turns out we’re looking in the wrong place for the right partner.

Compatibility is not what makes the heart grow fonder, it’s making a life with a kind person.

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