One word of praise backed up by evidence (to show it’s not just flattery) gets more cooperation than asking for what you need, a word of criticism or pressure.
When people receive sincere praise they are more likely to be open to the needs of others.
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There are two main causes of stress.
Fear and worry.
Fear is not rational. Most fears never become reality. Expose fear as an accelerator of what probably will never happen.
Worry is based on real circumstances that can be mitigated by eliminating the fear factor.
Most of the things that cause stress are worst case scenarios gone wild.
Focusing on best case outcomes goes a long way to putting stress in a more manageable place.
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To find yourself, lose yourself.
Break the mold.
Take a different path.
Let go.
The irony of getting back in touch with what you want, who you want to be and where you want to go requires less searching and more losing yourself in the myriad of possibilities.
Letting go of the search opens doors.
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Waiting is the multiplier of stress and anxiety.
Whatever the concern, the longer the wait for resolution, the more intense things get.
Waiting for an outcome can rarely be accelerated.
Do, don’t stew to keep anxiety from making an uncomfortable situation worse.
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If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
Think about it. Why do we assume something will go wrong?
Failure is the default setting that must be overcome.
That’s betting against yourself.
People who succeed don’t assume that they will fail. They expect another victory. They do not allow others to place a bet against them.
If it’s worth dreaming, it’s worth assuming that you will eventually prevail.
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There is no need to create more time. There is already enough.
The question is how do you want to use it?
If more time is created by dropping some things from life, other things will just replace them.
Do less but do more of what is important to you.
To find more time, choose 2 things out of every ten that are important and make them a priority. The other tasks can go on “hold” – most of them will never need to be completed.
Feeling overwhelmed comes from the pressures of others added to our own list of life’s to-do’s that usually ends in disaster.
Less is more when it is the things that matter the most.
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Compassion.
Not advice.
Not help.
Not even compliments.
Humans cannot live without compassion which means if we want to connect with others in a meaningful way, don’t be their shrink, cheerleader or advisor.
“I feel like my world is upside down”
“That must be awful”
“I’m so stressed”
“I can’t imagine how anxious it makes you feel”
“I’m so slammed I can’t do it all”
“What a burden that must feel like”
Compassion is sympathy for the sufferings and misfortunes of others.
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The most important question is the one to which you already know (or think you know) the answer.
I worked for a radio program director named Paul Drew. He was a force unto himself. Sharp, curt but I liked him and he liked me.
In our conversations I often found myself satisfying his curiosity but suspecting that he knew the answers. One day I flat out asked him.
“Why are you asking me about this, you must already have heard about it”.
His response: “If I try to impress you with what I know, I won’t learn anything new”.
It’s the Columbo response – the disheveled TV detective who sounded dumb but was the guy who solved the case.
The person with the all the answers asked the best questions and got more information than he would have if he tried to impress me with what he knew.
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This recession talk that has been escalating lately is a dangerous stressor.
No matter how secure we feel, worrying about something that may not happen at all is the first step to increased anxiety.
This is the classic worry syndrome – worrying about worry.
The answer is to get rid of fear thoughts and replace them with forethought.
Strengthen your contacts, reassess that you are working in a field that has upward growth potential, create a plan B. Sock some money away. None of these things cause anxiety. They are reassuring.
How insane is it to worry for months and even years about something that, if it does happen, is unfortunate but not the end of the world?
And one more positive: look for people who found opportunity when they were forced to face adversity. You won’t have to look far.
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