There is a new study that shows physicians now spend only 12% of their time making eye contact with their patients.  That’s a mere 12 seconds out of each minute actually focused looking into the patient’s eyes.

The other 88% of their time is spent with electronic medical records.

This is probably close to the way laypeople spend their time – 12% looking or focused on another and 88% distracted by things such as phones, technology, etc.

So, to be a better person – one who wins friends, makes others feel happy and to reap the reward of sincere appreciation – all we have to do is stretch that number to, say, 30 seconds of eye contact per minute or more.

No courses are needed.  No special training.  No inspirational talks.

The evidence is in, starting today it is up to us.

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

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8 in 10 Millennials don’t feel they are good enough according to a just released study in the UK.

They feel overwhelmed and are suffering the anxiety and mental problems that go along with it.

6 in 10 say society’s expectations are too high.

Non-Millennials are likely to feel the same way as they are letting their connectivity to the internet and social media adversely affect their lives.

Being “good enough” starts with conviction.

My advantages outweigh my disadvantages even if I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated.

I will get off my own case – criticizing yourself never leads to good self-esteem. 

Stress causes a lack of confidence and lack of confidence causes stress.

I will temper society’s perceived expectations of me and get in touch with what I really want. 

I will own my own happiness – not look to other people or diversions to provide it.

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Holidays should be like the Hallmark cable channel with a happy ending.  Thanksgiving should be the fantasy of family coming together and celebrating.

Often real life isn’t like that.

There are family hurts, disruption and even animosity when loved ones come together.

We can’t change our family but we can expand the definition.

A best friend doesn’t have to be a blood relative.  A trusted person may have different DNA.  The definition of family can be wider than those sharing the same genetics.  They can even have four legs.

For every heartbreak, there can be the wonder of people who have happened into our lives but are not unnoticed and this is always a cause for celebration.

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Most of us worry about basically the same things and then repeat and obsess over them and multiple the worry until it takes over our lives.

In the headline I suggested that there is an effective way to have fewer worries almost immediately.

Isolate one thing, don’t multiple it until it becomes too big to handle.

There are many ways to deal with worries but even before you apply those proven solutions, make the cut down to one worry per situation not many grown out of obsession and then you’re ready to tackle them.

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

It may feel good.  It may be irresistible but it is a total waste of time.

Letting go brings greater benefits.

The damage is done, why continue to waste your time getting back at someone who hurt you.

Not one minute of time spent on getting even is worth it.

The winner is the person who escapes.

Confucius said “To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

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Anyone can make a big thing of their successes – it feels good and is well earned.

But real gains come from learning from your failures – the big ones, the disappointments, even the little irritations.

This is why I tell my college students …

Show me a person who has failed several times and who is sticking with it and I will show you the next success. Bet on them!

Hitting it out of the park feels great, but learning from mistakes with an attitude of anticipation and confidence usually pays off bigger returns.

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Get out of your own head and bring a smile to someone else.

Think every day how you can please someone else – bring a smile to their face, make them happy, lift them up.

In doing so, you will be curing the blues and improving your mood.

The more we obsess, the worse it gets.

The more we focus on uplifting others, the happier we are.

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That’s the title of a current hit song called “Truth Hurts” by the artist Lizzo.

It’s not about texting but makes a great point about it.

Tell it straight to my face. 

That’s a workaround for spending too much time on our digital devices.

Look for opportunities to not text and say it face-to-face or at least with the benefit of the receiver hearing your voice.

No one wants to give up their digital life, but there are ways to keep it real by looking for opportunities to tell it straight to someone’s face.

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I wanted to be in television so badly I sent audition tapes to the three major network affiliates in Philadelphia for years to no avail.

Not once did I get a rejection letter or a letter even acknowledging my tapes.

But the gift in not getting what I wanted was that it continually showed me how badly I wanted to work on the air in television – so I continued.

One day, year’s later my tape happened to arrive on the desk of the program director of the ABC affiliate and he picked up the phone and called me.

“It’s just a two-day gig.  Nothing more.  You’ll be a booth announcer”.

Once I got my foot in the door, well – you know what happened then.

Not getting what I wanted taught me how badly I wanted it and drove me to continue pursuit of my dream.

Had I become discouraged, I would have learned I was less motivated.

The question is:  how badly do you want it?

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One, ask what’s the worst thing that could happen.

Two, get prepared to accept the worst.

Three, change it if you can.

99% of the time what we fear never happens and 1% of the time it doesn’t happen the way we fear.

Is that worth all the pain and suffering from worry?

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