People who master this take great leaps in managing their anxiety.

When worried or anxious, get busy doing other things.

Get your mind off worries and onto other things or other people.

The distraction turns out to reduce fear and accomplish things at the same time.

As Robert Louis Stevenson put it:   Keep busy at something: a busy person never has time to be unhappy.

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You hear the terms “be you” and “your best self” a lot these days but the happiest revelation is that the person you are right now is good enough.

No makeovers necessary and I am aware I’m saying this just days after many New Year’s resolutions kicked in.

If you want to be better, focus on the good, avoid trying to reinvent yourself.

I remind my mental health in the music business class at NYU to feel the power within and use it – do not be party to tearing a perfectly good person like you apart.

Happy to be back after the holiday break – hope it was a great one for you.  Feel free to share this item if you like.

I remember one Christmas eve I was working on-air in radio as a 24-inch blizzard covered the Philadelphia area.

I volunteered to work Christmas Eve and again Christmas Day because other air talent had families and wanted to be with their kids – I looked forward to that day.

But the storm was so bad the next shifts couldn’t make it to the station – or I should say stations since I worked for an AM-FM-TV company at the time.

And yes, it was before voice tracking – we were live on all three or I should say I was live as the TV booth announcer and news anchor for both radio stations.

Yet it is one of the most memorable and meaningful Christmas’ that I ever had — knowing my work friends were home with their families to see their kids open presents that Santa left.

Oh, and when relief arrived 24 full hours later, I was still awake and headed right for my car which I forgot I had to dig out of snow drifts.

Memorable indeed along with the time Marlin Taylor gave all announcers the day off to hear ourselves on his amazing and pioneering all-Christmas bonanza.

And working for the number one station in town knowing that a large audience had you on for more than just the latest “Cash Call” jackpot total.

We’ll be off until the new year, but Cheryl and I wish you every happiness for whatever your holiday plans are.

Thanks for reading DayStarters, for responding during the year to the various articles and for sharing with friends.

We send every wish for happiness!

The revelation of the year as far as I am concerned is that looking to widen our scope to add new friends is not the best way to deal with the loneliness epidemic which has impacted our world – all of us, include me in that.

Instead of looking for someone else to help us solve the problem we need to look to ourselves.

As I tell my NYU students in our stress class for musicians, do away with self-rejection and yes, be kinder, compassionate, more open and forgiving to ourselves first – then to those around us.

The gift I am giving to myself this holiday season is to be enough – good things will follow.

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“ … Remember that because of the way the human brain operates, the pursuit of compassion will make you happier than the pursuit of happiness.”

Former Mayo Clinic physician and author Dr. Amit Sood reminds us that the brain doesn’t have a default setting to “happiness”.

That it was designed to help us stay safe by anticipating things that could hurt us.

That’s why it is comforting to know we can retrain the brain and pursue compassion for others on the way to true happiness.

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What’s the first question most parents ask when their children come home with a report card that has 3 A’s and a B on it?

• What did you get the B in?
• A better question: If you want to package more motivation in one line than you could ever get from cracking a whip or lecturing about doing better, try this: Tell me all about those A’s.
• Ask about the A’s – it works for motivating people on our teams and those who have excelled at something important: How did you accomplish that?

• More often than not, they will voluntarily tell you about the “B” or about the aspects that didn’t go as well as they hoped. No need to ask. 

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“You don’t have to like your coach, but you must respect your coach.  If you’re on good terms all the time, then he’s probably not pushing your hard enough.”

That’s what Hall of Fame hockey player Mark Messier said about the NHL coach Mike Keenan, also known as “Iron Mike”.

Whether we’re parents, or employers, whether its sports or work you get the best out of your team when you push them to grow.

It’s like no pain, no gain in exercise.

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I have a student who gladly spends 7 hours a day on TikTok – yes, and she can prove it.

A year ago, I had another student who spent 6 hours a day on TikTok, tried to give it up – it lasted a week and then back on it.

The average on social media for TikTok is 93 minutes a day.  And it’s not just TikTok, it’s Instagram and other apps.

This is insane but adults have their own issues looking into their devices instead of into the eyes of others or off in the distance to the world around them.

It is possible to enjoy social media or other apps without turning into that app – what it takes is a plan to take charge of your life.

Code writers build apps to keep you glued so they can serve endless content and ads. 

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Welcoming challenges rather than seeing them as threats is “positive discomfort”.

A recent Washington Post story tells how U.S. women’s national soccer team coach Emma Hayes kept her starters in the lineup for a “grueling” 90 minutes – it looked like the team would be eliminated by sheer exhaustion.

But instead, they won the gold medal.

This is no pain, no gain on steroids.

“Fun, goofiness, humanity and cohesion” and “love”.

But one important caveat.

Before you ask others to weather discomfort, the team whether on the field or at the office must feel that you are on their side.

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We spend most of our lives working and sleeping – not necessarily in a balanced way.

Glassdoor research indicates that 65% of professionals they surveyed are feeling “stuck” in their careers.

Tech people 73%.  Women 68%.  Men 62%.

Fewer people are quitting their jobs and layoffs are spreading with and without the help of artificial intelligence.

There’s work.  There’s need to make a living.  And there are career moves.

You don’t need a survey to know when you’re feeling you’re stuck in a job – do the one thing most people do not do – trust instincts and act.

Tomorrow is not a better time – now is the best time.

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