Just because people are quiet, doesn’t mean that they don’t have something to say.

And being talkative doesn’t mean you do.

One of the most advanced and potent human relations skills is to listen to the other side of silence.

That which is not said, but can be valuable if we listen for it in others.

Even when a person outwardly expresses a feeling, it doesn’t mean that it is their true feeling.  We humans often say things that are opposite of what we think or feel.

I have seen marriage counselors who sit between warring partners trying to get them to express what is on their minds directly to each other and then they are asked to recite those feelings back. 

Amazingly, it’s not easy even to communicate even when the two people try to listen to what is being said with the help of a psychologist.

Listening to the other side of silence requires a sensitivity for the whole of another person without prejudgment.

The ability to put in perspective what others say for it may be what they think we want to hear.  (We all do it).

Gathering information without making an immediate assessment of the person or situation is critical to effective communication.

Ironically we live in a fast paced world with more communication devices, social networking and opportunities to express ourselves and yet, the truly skillful communicator knows to cultivate a respect for that which is not said.

“I’ve begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own.” – Chaim Potok, The Chosen