Rethinking Mistakes

Pencils have erasers, digital devices have delete.  Success is built on the back of how people handle their mistakes – admit them, improve on them, apologize for them.

When you make mistakes, you get stronger not weaker.  Our mistakes help us learn more about ourselves and others.  They can be painful.  In all of Major League Baseball history only 204 players out of thousands had a lifetime batting average over .300.  Ty Cobb was the best at “only” .3662 that means less than 40% of the time, he made a mistake.  Rethink the value of mistakes and free yourself to learn from them and succeed.

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Instant Confidence Builder

What would happen if a baseball player stepped into the batter’s box with negative thoughts – I hope I don’t see a knuckleball, hope the pitcher doesn’t brush me back, I haven’t had a hit in over 20 at-bats?

So why is it that we let negative thoughts in when we really need positive ones – I have done it before, I can do it again, I’m good at getting the hang of things, no one works harder than me, I not only can, I will.  Just as in sports, accentuate positive and true thoughts when you’re ready to step up.

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How to Make People Crave You

This really happened.

An ICU nurse arguing with a post-op patient about taking an anti-nausea medication that they were allergic to.

She said, “we need to have a conversation”.

That term is used a lot but often, as in this case, it means we’re going to talk and I’m going to have my way.

A conversation is talk between two people in which ideas are exchanged.

It is not for purpose of necessarily changing a person’s point of view.

To make people crave you, converse in the true sense without the mission of persuasion.

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Rehearsing for Success

We know that practice makes perfect.

But practicing the wrong things is worse than not practicing at all.

Do not repeat things that will not make you better.

Practice only makes perfect when you’re practicing the right things.

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The Happiness Formula

Did you ever take a course that was so important that it changed your life?

May I share one of mine with you?

A general semantics class from a college professor who said this:

“…we ought to keep our expectations of achieving a goal low and our motivation for working to achieve it high”.

When we let our expectations go too high, we are disappointed when they are not fulfilled which is much more likely than the fulfillment of our expectations.

With high hopes you are prepared for BOTH success and failure.

But with high expectations, only success.

“Expect the worst and hope for the best” – the only happiness advice you will ever need.

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The Fear of Change

Most people don’t really want change – in fact it scares them.

They want better.

Next time you have a great idea, instead of making it feel like change, try making it feel like better.

No one doesn’t like better so start today to reprogram how you think and talk about improving things.

Save change for yourself when you’re ready for a new adventure – for everything else, there is better.

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You Become What You Think You Are

People without confidence fail.

Those who believe in themselves succeed.

Allow negative thoughts, you hesitate.

In every other part of life, what we envision first is what we then see.

The same is true of ourselves.

As William James put it “people by and large become what they think of themselves” so no books, videos or courses are needed to improve your life – start by changing the way you see yourself in it.

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What’s Better? Change or Status Quo

Steve Levitt, the co-author of Freakonomics cites a new study that indicates that just flipping a coin on big decisions makes people happier six months after a big life change.

That we would be better off if we did more quitting – like in our jobs.

That big life decisions like marriage and even whether to get a tattoo are better left up to chance.

Yes or no coin-flip choices were monitored at two months and again at six.

The coin flip subjects were largely happier they did it which begs the question, what is it really that makes people happy – throwing their lives open to fate or fighting to keep things the way they are?

Levitt says “A good rule of thumb in decision making is, whenever you cannot decide what you should do, choose the action that represents a change, rather than continuing the status quo.”

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When Self-Doubt Creeps In

If we’re going to be honest, reopening our lives comes with its challenges.

People are not meant to be hunkered down and absent a daily routine.

When a player comes off the bench cold, he or she is telling themselves I have what it takes to succeed in this game.

So why is it any different for us?

You’ve done it before and can do it again.

You’re rested or should be.

When I got my first opportunity to be on TV, the program director said, “you’ve done this before, haven’t you?”  Of course, I said skirting the truth.

I had imagined it since I was a teenager.  I rehearsed it in my mind over and over.  Indeed, I was ready.

As complicated as life is, one thing remains simple.

If we don’t believe in ourselves deeply, how can we ask anyone else to?

That’s the phrase to repeat every time self-doubt creeps in.

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Fear of Succeeding

We’ve all heard of the dreaded fear of failure but most of us rarely consider the fear of succeeding.

It even has a name – achievemephobia.

It’s real.  It holds people back.  Prevents accomplishments because fear of succeeding is fear of failure’s other cousin.

If I get what I want, I might lose it. 

If I open myself up to 100% commitment and fail, I may become a bigger failure. 

At least if I expect to fail, I can prepare for it.  The fear of succeeding can be so sudden.

Fight it with thoughts like “I’m worthy of success”, “I won’t go negative on myself”, “I expect success because of I am earning the right to have it”.

It is almost impossible to stop a person who expects to succeed.

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