How to Stay Positive

Our brains are like sponges.

They soak up everything they hear and see whether it is positive or negative.

So, allowing others to have direct access into your psyche is dangerous.

Take charge of what you let in by thinking of your mind as a recording device that repeats what it hears over and over again unless you specifically tell it no.

No criticism.

No insults.

No thoughts that limit your possibilities from others or yourself.

You can’t control what is said, but you can control what repeats in your subconscious.

Why Confidence is Like Playing Cards

Obsessing over how good you are is a waste of time.

Everyone has more than enough going for them.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play them.

The 7 Second Delay

Broadcasters have used built-in delays to protect the public against unsavory aspects of live programming for years.

The 7 second delay is something that can work for us as well in our fast-moving digital world.

Pause 7 seconds before responding in real time to a text or email message and protect against putting a first thought as a final thought.

Usually, the first idea is our worst idea – delaying a response even for as little as 7 seconds and perhaps more if possible makes us a better, more sensitive communicator.

Disappointment

If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.

Something positive is overdue to happen.

I am so bitterly disappointed that I want to give up.

This means take some time off to see why one thing can make you so miserable before committing to pursuing it again.

I tried so hard and still didn’t succeed.

Not getting what you want is a gift.  It makes you question how badly you really want it and whether you want it so badly you’ll keep trying.

I failed in a friendship or relationship. 

The most important relationship we can have starts with ourselves – work on that and you will most assuredly attract people for if you don’t love yourself, how can you ask someone else to?

Disappointment is not an excuse for quitting – it’s an opportunity to recommit.

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The Advantage of Being Fired

I was fired from my first job in commercial radio when, as a stressed-out college student attending classes by day and working on-the-air all-night, I dozed for a minute between records and the record tracked through – yes, the boss was up and listening at 3 am.

I’ll never work again – I’m ruined before I start.

But my next job was in TV for the local ABC affiliate – a job I would never have gotten if I hadn’t first been fired.

The program director who let me go taught me a valuable lesson and was a role model for when I eventually became a program director – I adore him to this day.

It’s not always the end of the world when you get fired, it’s more often the beginning of a new one.

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Choosing Better Friends

In nature, animals become like their surroundings.

The rattlesnake even looks like its environment as a protection from larger prey.

Humans also become like those they are around for better or for worse.

Our ethics, morals, beliefs and desires are influenced by those with whom we keep company.

Be friends with people you respect and admire because you’re more likely to assume their traits by unconscious assimilation.

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Quiet Confidence

Confidence is not loud or boisterous.

Nor is a strong ego to be confused with confidence.

Real confidence is often silent, strong, principled and gracious.

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Understanding the Intentions of Others

Erik Seidel is arguably the best poker player ever and is in the Poker Hall of Fame.

But he doesn’t count cards – he observes his opponent’s behavior.

Erik Seidel remains on top because his style of play is a psychological one based less on mathematical outputs and more on understanding the human element according to the Maria Konnikova, author of The Biggest Bluff.

To learn the intentions of others, look to the other side of silence not necessarily what they say.

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The Good Part of Bad Luck

Bad luck may be saving us from something far worse.

“You never can tell whether bad luck may not after all turn out to be good luck…One must never forget when misfortunes come that it is quite possible they are saving one from something much worse; or that when you make some great mistake, it may very easily serve you better than the best-advised decision.” —  Winston Churchill “ My Early Life,” 1930

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The Benefit of Adversity

Our happiness seems to come back to one thing.

Not how lucky or unlucky we are but how we deal with adversity.

Happiness is born of adversity because happy people tend to face their problems when they occur.

Rather than wishing problems away, take steps to deal with adversity and develop the optimism that comes from being proactive.

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