Let Go of Excuses and Focus on the Next Thing

Ask anyone what they did wrong and you’ll get an immediate answer and a long list.

Ask them what they did right and you’ll have a long wait for a short answer.

Handling failure requires moving on.

A bad day is not a bad life.

Failing to accomplish goals is a good thing.

Doubting yourself creates more failure.

Forget everything bad that ever happened and give it 100% of the best you have to offer.

Batting 1.000 isn’t realistic.

Showing up 1000% of the time with your best stuff – that’s how to train the mindset of a winner.

Let go of excuses and focus on the next thing.

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How to Recapture Half Your Day

We now spend 11 hours a day interacting with media – phones, Kindles, TV, music – this according to a recent Nielsen study.

4 hours and 46 minutes watching television.

40 minutes on inter-connected devices (video games, smart TV).

Computers, phones and tablets 3 hours and 48 minutes and more.

Any reduction in some or all of these and other digital media distractions would render more time to live, love and interact with people and places you enjoy.

So why don’t we bite the bullet and fix this?

There’s work, stay in touch with the sitter, the black hole of social media where it’s hard to stop scrolling.

Digital devices are addictive and we have an addiction.

These are tools – powerful tools that also bring us a connection and a way to avoid being in the present.

Phones are like morphine pumps that are used to kill the pain after surgery – put it in your hand (just like a phone) and press the button as often as necessary.

A smartphone is only truly smart when you’re in control not the other way around.

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All Things Are Possible If…

You believe in them first.

If you can live without someone else concurring.

If you can muster enough confidence to believe in you.

But if your dreams have to be approved by others first, they are not your dreams.

To make all things possible, you must be committed to do the impossible. 

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Aim for the Top 10 Percent

Starting today, see yourself in the …

Top ten percent of your company’s productive workers.

Top ten percent for marriages and relationships.

Top ten percent in health and fitness.

Top ten percent in effective use of human relations.

Top ten percent among those weaning themselves off of too much phone use.

Top ten percent at spending time with the family.

Top ten percent of people who actually pursue their dreams with passion.

Top ten percent of meaningful friendships.

Even aim to be in the top ten percent of your upcoming class reunion.

Sometimes all that is needed to improve is to see a top ten percentile goal vividly in your mind’s eye.

Without it, the results are unpredictable.

With it, the outcomes are guaranteed to be better.

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4 Confidence Builders

  1. Talk kindly to yourself.  Become your own coach.  Good coaches build on positives, negative coaches get fired.
  2. Become skilled at using effective human relations.  There is still no better way to gain an edge than to master the principles in Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People.  (Hint, buy the paperback.  Rip out one chapter at a time until you master it then go on).
  3. Admit mistakes.  You want to be the person who can say “I was wrong” and why sincerely because that breeds confidence that sticks with you when you need it most.
  4. Defend your boundaries.  Push away abusers and bullies even if they are related to you or you work closely with them.  No confidence ever comes from tolerating a bully or an abusive person.

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Getting Out of a Rut

Totally change your routines.

If you drive to work one way, go another way.

Usually bring lunch? Eat out.

Shy away from conversation, start one.

Stuck in a job, in the next hour take a step toward exploring a new one.

Going nowhere in a relationship?  Part ways but take time off before entering another one to avoid making the same choice again.

Ruts can be things that formerly excited us.

Waiting for the perfect person, situation or opportunity to come along is a dead-end road – don’t postpone living 100% now.

The most important way to get out of a rut is to get in touch with your instincts, listen to them and never doubt them.

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Become a Great Conversationalist

Don’t talk.

Ask questions.

Endless questioning going deeper and deeper into the conversation.

And it has nothing to do with being outgoing.

People think a great conversationalist is a person who says all the right things, can be witty, intelligent, interesting – all at once.

It’s the other way around.

Ask question after question – do it sincerely — and you will make a friend for life.

The irony is, a good conversationalist is not a person who does all the talking but the one who does all the listening.

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Fear is a Mind Game You Can Win

Do the thing you fear to do and the fear will go away from you.

Face the threat, don’t let it fester.

Stand up for yourself and you always win.

Better than worry:  Prepare for what you could actually do if your worst fears come true.

Fear is a mind game you can win.

Stop the anxiety dead in its tracks by standing up and refusing to succumb to an unpleasant emotion that can ruin your life. 

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Put a Stop/Loss On Anxiety

Anxious people seem to make themselves more anxious by obsessing about it.

An immediate fix is to postpone your anxiety to a set time every day.

I’m worried about losing my job

My children are having problems in school

I’m worried about health issues

I feel pressured all the time and can’t relax

Put it on a list of things you want to deal with – later.  Say, between 8 and 8:30 or whatever works for you.  At the end of that time, all anxious thoughts are held over to tomorrow at, say, 8 pm.

Anxiety doesn’t just go away as most people suffering from it will attest.  It has to be managed.

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

It’s the feeling that hurts us because the actual concern more often than not never happens the way we fear it.

Put a stop/loss on anxiety by scheduling worry time for a specific duration every day and start managing a feeling that makes legitimate concerns seem all encompassing.

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Top Mood Boosters

A study of 2,000 adults says this is what is a perfect day for them:

Waking up at 8:15 in the morning 

A sunny, spring-like forecast with a temperature of 74 

Being able to enjoy three hours outdoors

4 hours with family, 3 hours with friends

Another 3 hours watching TV

In bed by 10:50 pm. 

Even at that respondents say they only have 15 “perfect” days a year.

What’s wrong with their typical “perfect” day.

It is self-centered.

Real perfect days come when you’re not making it all about yourself.

Giving the gift of your precious time to someone without expecting anything in return. 

Being a good listener to a friend where you can accurately repeat back the essence of what they are saying without having to match them topic by topic. 

Being grateful for that which is good but also for challenges that have the potential of transforming your life.

And being grateful for people in your life.

Putting your phone away and being 100% present with those around you.

Returning home to greet everyone as if you’ve been on a two-week business trip and can’t wait to see them.

Forgiving someone.

You get more happiness by giving than receiving.

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