Joy

Isn’t joy really what we live for?

Studies show the average American working couple is happiest when they together earn $70,000 annually and even a little more does not make them happier and a lot more makes them – are you ready – unhappier.

How could that be?

The worst kept secret is that money can’t buy happiness.

But happiness is so vague.

Drill down on the word.

It’s joy that makes life worth living and even in hard times there are always things that bring us joy.

Except …

We humans just move on to the next problem.

Suggestion:  don’t postpone joy.

Spend time with it whether what brings joy is major or something minor.

Nothing else is required.

Do not postpone joy.

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Alone Time

Sadness is okay.  It means we’re human.

Even depression is survivable as long as we continue to get up each morning and deal with the problems that face us.

There are more books on happiness and more on depression than ever before.

Why is that?

Today’s world is fast and furious.

Courtesy and civility seem as if they are not valued.  Dale Carnegie is not only turning over in his grave but spinning.

We are constantly in touch with something – anything – everything at our fingertips.

Alone time is hard to find and when we get it, a phone should not be invited.

People who walk, run, get outside with nature alone often appreciate themselves more and those around them.

Here’s where it’s good to be selfish.

Value alone time and use it not just with some form of entertainment to keep you busy but to do nothing but think, be grateful and thankful for all your problems.

As I’ve mentioned before, when I gave each of my Dale Carnegie students a card to list their three biggest problems anonymously, after trading cards they wanted their own problems back.

We may not love everything about our lives, but it is our life.

Getting in touch with yourself without distractions even in our busy connected world really helps to keep things in perspective.

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  • Thank you, Mr. Del Colliano!! I REALLY needed to hear this!!!

Take Back Your Life

When people text you too much and you’d rather talk …

Or when they talk too much and you’d like to text every once in a while …

Or when you work for someone you don’t admire and find yourself becoming more like that person in little ways …

Or when you don’t have dinner together but miss being a family at least once a day …

When multitasking becomes more important than accomplishing something you’re really proud of …

And making money no longer satiates you …

And life seems to be passing you by without providing the joy that you miss …

Take back your life because just knowing the problem means you can begin to solve it.

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Stretching Yourself

For some reason we keep looking for major ways to change ourselves when a little fine-tuning would go a long way.

Sometimes all that is needed to be more successful and happier is to stretch yourself.

Try harder to be a good listener – the results will always be better than not trying and you won’t need a course on listening.

Give away your decision-making power every once in a while, and chip away at tendencies to be a control freak.  

Once a day give credit to someone else using a specific example of what they did right and you’ll work on any jealous tendencies you might have.

Then, see if you can give credit to someone else in front of other people. 

For everything you criticize yourself for insist on balancing that with something you did well and the self-esteem results will be fast and palpable.

Take control of your phone and let it work for you not deprive you of human interaction or precious alone time to reap all the advantages with fewer disadvantages.

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The Key to Motivating Others

Don’t screw this up.

If you can’t decide, let me know and I can help.

You’re always late. 

The key to motivating another person is to give them a reputation to live up to – not to live down.

Remember when you did this for me in record time a year ago?

You always exceed my expectations.

I thought about this and decided that of everyone I could have asked, you’re the person to get the job done.

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  • Hi Jerry,

    I love your stuff and I’m a big fan so this is more a “correction” than anything else. One of the biggest myths in business and life is that we can motivate others. We can’t! We can only provide something (reward, behavior, modeling, etc.) that they use to motivate themselves. It’s a HUGE difference. We wrote a blog on this that might help readers of your newsletter. It’s here: http://www.btmgmt.net/?s=motivate+me+please

  • Excellent advice, Mr. D.!!