One Sure Way to Cure Unhappiness

Get off social media and give up your phone.

If you are not ready to do that, wait until you have tried everything else and become desperate.

Our phones are killing our happiness.

They are making us sick, distracted, anti-social and sometimes hurtful through social media.

It’s all over the news and yet we cling to our phones and even empower our children to live by the light of a screen.

For those who can’t or won’t give up their devices, take charge and make changes.

Limit phone time. Stick to it.

Weekends off.

No screens before bed (science tells us this disrupts our brains and adversely affects our sleep).

Social media is a black hole – go cold turkey, get off and welcome back the real world.

Organize phones to avoid black holes – the first few screens should have apps that we can visit and leave quickly. All other apps including social media apps should be in folders and not readily accessible. Should you go there you know that you risk withdrawing from life.

The only smartphone is one that you control and that does not monopolize our lives.

Even Steve Jobs never imagined the deleterious effects of his iPhone although he did limit screen time for his own children.

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Repairing Hurt Feelings

As much as you want to forget hurt, don’t.

You run the risk of accepting insults every time you avoid them.

An insult is a veiled compliment – take it as such.

Resist the temptation to react – that’s exactly what a person armed with insults wants you to do. Resorting to insults will not make you happier.

Also, don’t believe a word – it’s pretty sad when we start taking to heart someone who doesn’t have one.

Remove yourself from situations where people hurl insults (and if it’s at work and you can’t avoid it, seriously start looking for a better work environment).

Admit it hurts, but don’t accept the insult.

The best way to repair hurt feelings is to remind yourself about the fine person you are and consider the source.

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Limiting Expectations

Why did my hopes and dreams get ahead of me again?

It ends in disappointment and discouragement.

I could almost taste it and then something happened to ruin my expectations.

Dreams are necessary.

Realizing them before they happen is the problem.

One step at a time.

Start by keeping expectations low.

Motivation high.

Avoid disappointment.

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Keys to Success & Happiness

One key opens your house or apartment.

There may be another for your office.

Or one for your desk, or locker.

Yet another key starts your car.

Different keys open different things – there is no master key to open all of these things.

The same with people.

There is no master key for unlocking the potential of your work team, the motivation of your spouse or partner, the abilities of your children, the best qualities of your friends or even your own best effort.

Each person in our lives requires a separate key to unlock their potential.

What works on one does not necessarily work on another.

The person who is constantly aware of this, carries the keys to success and happiness in their careers and life.

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Help Dealing with a Tough Workplace

  1. Be the most positive person you know even if your situation is dire.
  2. Arrive before everyone, leave last.
  3. Turn hurt feelings or lack of appreciation into fuel you can spend on earning your next opportunity (somewhere).
  4. Report abuse no matter what the repercussions – stand up for you, defend boundaries it builds self-esteem.
  5. Be aware of those around you who may also be demotivated in a tough workplace and be mindful not to catch their disease.

Some of the best jobs follow dealing with some of the worst.

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A Case of the Blues

Does it really matter what gets us down if you know how to lift yourself up?

Focus on someone else.

Take a break thinking about you.

Go further, try to help someone.

Discover the power of giving to others and how good it makes you feel.

Lose yourself in helping others and it is impossible to be as down as you would be by obsessing about your own troubles.

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Fighting Anxiety

What ever happened to no?

No, I’m not going to eat dinner with my phone on the table.

No, I’m not going to let those around me infect me with things that they fear.

No, I’m not going to knock myself even as I try as hard as I can to succeed.

No, I refuse to give up. I’ll be back.

No, I will not look to others for things that are missing in me because I will become hopelessly codependent.

No, I will never believe that fear can control me.

Anxiety is a baseless fear.

Worry is how we usually respond to it.

Fighting negativity is how we overcome anxiety.

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Upgrading Your Friends

We often over time become the people who surround us for better or worse.

You can keep your friends even when you are aware of qualities in them that you don’t like.

Or, you can open your world to new influences by reaching out and looking around.

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “I have enough friends”.

Numbers don’t count – quality is everything.

Some people lose good friends because they are under the influence of not so good friends.

An underrated decision in life is who you choose as friends.

Proceed carefully because you most assuredly become like them.

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Count Your Blessings Not Your Troubles

Dale Carnegie sent us this advice long before cellphones and stress that we live with now.

Try this.

From the time you wake up, see how long it takes to find just one person who is happy and not obsessed with something wrong.

You may wait a while.

Living in a world that is so connected and yet dysfunctional makes it easy to be down and hard to be optimistic.

I have the flu, but I’ll be over it soon and better again.

I’m employed even though I may not love my job however I can find another one.

I feel loss in my life but I embrace the time I spent with that special person.

The traffic jams get worse every day, but I persist because I am happy to go where this commute takes me.

I haven’t found my soulmate yet but the fun is looking.

Science has confirmed: count your blessings not life’s stressors and it neurologically changes the hard wiring in your brain.

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If you have to have brain surgery, you want a perfectionist doing the operation.

Have dinner at an expensive restaurant, you expect the chef to be a perfectionist.

The problem is being a perfectionist kills personal happiness.

What to do?

Perfection is the goal, a worthy goal.

But not guilt, because you are imperfect.

Or worthless because you couldn’t bat 1.000.

Perfectionists often see themselves the way they think others see them.

That’s ego, not perfection.

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