When You’re Doubting Yourself

Doubts are normal, we’re human.

If you won’t believe in yourself – in your ability to do it – you can’t expect anyone else to give you the chance.

Assume success not failure every time.

If you fail, assume success the very next time as a result of what you learned.

If you doubt, you’re out.   

If you believe you can win, you’re in. 

Never outsource your need for a confidence boost to someone else – it’s your job, not theirs. 

Trying is a virtue that means you win even when things don’t go exactly the way you want. 

The difference between a success and failure lies between your two ears.

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Chief Happiness Officers

There are over 1,000 of them listed on LinkedIn’s website according to an article in The Independent.

Execs with the sole focus of making and keeping employees happy.

We’re beginning to learn that the way we feel at work is more important than all the perks some companies offer.

Some companies spend what costs out to be over $10,000 a person in physical perks but words are more effective.

Praise and reward over finding fault.

Flexibility to find balance between work and personal life.

The way you talk to people turns out to be more important than any other perk or consideration.

The British reformer John Ruskin had it right over 150 years ago:

“In order that people may be happy at work, these three things are needed: they must be fit for it, they must not do too much of it, and they must have a sense of success in it.”

There can also be a Chief Happiness Officer at home to make sure the family not only has the best you can afford but can feel valued in a way that has nothing to do with money.

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Responding to Insults

First instinct might be to hit back.

Then the insulter wins on a TKO.

Don’t react under any circumstance.

Insulting people are button pushers.  They will keep trying until they can get a rise out of you.

Cut off their oxygen.

There can be no insults if you won’t stand for any of it.  And if they said something that lit your fire, spend your time putting out that fire and putting distance between you and the person who is hurling insults your way.

Permanently avoid people who won’t stop insulting you.

If you won’t stop the abuse, no one else will or can.

Avoid firing a zinger back.

Your satisfaction will be short lived and you will become more like the person you dislike instead of the one you want to be.

Fix the damage.

It is more important to undo the damage from a hurtful remark or barrage then it is to insult the other person back.

Without oxygen, the insulting person will have to find someone else to pick on because it won’t take long for them to realize you’re not going for the bait.

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Your Worst Idea is the First Idea

The reason so many meetings go off the tracks so quickly is because participants are lucky to contribute one idea let alone two.

And how that idea is received has a lot to do with whether others in the group will contribute or whether you will dig deeper to offer a third or a fourth.

Brainstorming experts know this which is why they welcome all ideas – even seemingly bad ones, odd and funny ones – because the real nectar comes from getting to the seventh or 11thor whatever it takes.

But the same is true of when we tackle problems personally.

The best solution is rarely the first one we come up with.

Pause, reload – try a second.

No benefit of rushing to judgment.

In solving problems, you can’t come up with the best idea until you’ve been able to exhaust all your ideas.

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Living in a Polarized World

What are you for?

Not what are you against.

The world now is a constant restatement of what people are against followed by a criticism of the person who said it.

If we keep up like this whether it’s caused by politics or social networking, we’re going to be very unhappy.

Living in a world where we lead with what we’re against or don’t like, the fix for it is to become more proactive about saying what you’re for.

Don’t like someone’s politics, what is yourview?

Social media making you nuts because it is forcing people into accepting new norms or correctness because they are popular and/or spreading rapidly?

Take your stand independent of reacting to others.

Reacting never works.

Responding produces better outcomes.

Listen. 

Respond, don’t react. 

Stand by what you are for even more than what you are against.

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