Feeling Empowered

Empowerment is not bragging or exercising control over others.

We feel strong when we reach out and touch others.

Start the day by paying at least one compliment to someone else before uttering the words “I” or “me”.

Don’t look for compliments — give them. 

Compliment the person; not their looks (that’s flattery).  A compliment is only sincere when it is backed by evidence. 

Feel stronger by listening to someone else without interruption.

Let someone ahead of you in line at Starbucks.

When someone is stressed, be the one not to add to it.

When people are rude, it makes us feel angry.  But if we want to feel powerful, focusing on someone else without looking for attention in return is the first step toward empowerment.

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Trust

Trust is not a feeling – it’s a decision.

Any doubts just reflect on the number of times you trusted someone only to be disappointed or hurt.

Before giving your trust, the other party must earn it.

Are they reliable?

Sensitive to your needs?

Honest, ethical – do they have a sense of fairness?

Look for the good qualities and also keep eyes wide open for the bad ones.

You wouldn’t let a person into your house who you didn’t first have good reason to believe could be trusted.  And then, you open the door.

The same applies to our lives.

Before making a conscious decision to put your trust into a person, institution or idea, make sure you feel comfortable about opening the door.

Think with your head – feel with your heart.

Not the other way around.

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Money & Happiness

Happiness is positive cash flow.

Money without happiness is not worth the effort it takes to earn it and we do know through recent studies that money can only buy so much happiness.

Anything under an average of $70,000 per working couple will cause money stresses but any amount over the 50-state average of $70,000 does not make people any happier.  Not even a million a year according to the most recent poll.

These surveys reflected people who graded their happiness and then disclosed their incomes.

Money can’t buy happiness.

But a takeaway is that happiness is also worth more than money.

When planning for your financial future also include factors that lead to increased happiness.

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Control

People who must be in control deprive themselves of the honest appreciation of others.

If they control the love, they risk never freely receiving love.

If they write the script, the ending always turns out the same.

If they control the outcome, they may miss a better solution.

If they obsessively speak for another, they are responsible for not empowering someone else.

The best way to gain control is to give up control.

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Ending Hurtful Thoughts

No one gets access to your subconscious.

Once said, the brain repeats what it hears.

If the comments are destructive, you are doing the damage by repeating them on a continuous loop.

The subconscious is like a recorder.

No one gets to record a message in your subconscious but you.

Even a compliment doesn’t get a pass (you record the compliments you receive).

The mind can be a powerful asset to happiness and success or it can serve to tear you down if the messages you are hearing and duplicating are damaging.

Taking charge of what gets recorded in the subconscious and not what other people say makes all the difference.

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How to Become an Achiever

Exceed expectations – yours and those of others. 

Have the heart of a servant – please others until it hurts. 

Outwork everyone else.

Turn your dreams into well thought out game plans.

On the way to getting what you want help those who help you get what they want.

Become skilled at human relations, the special skills that makes people gravitate to you and want to work with you. 

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Better Mornings

Before getting out of bed as you awake think of 5 people for whom you are grateful that they are in your life (it can be the same 5 people every day or you could add new ones).

Think of 5 situations that you are fortunate to be in right now (your job, your marriage, your avocation). 

This will eventually take only a minute or two.

Replace looking at your phone and finding out what irritates you or what problems you must face before even setting your feet on the floor.

Nothing more elaborate works any better than starting the day with gratitude for those you love and appreciate and all that you are fortunate to have.

Things go wrong when we start with problems, irritations, added-stress, worries and other negatives even before we’re fully awake.

Doing this awakening routine every day and you will train your brain to give you the positive start that makes it easier to handle whatever problems you must endure later.

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Overcoming Faults

We know our faults – chances are they’ve been mentioned to us many, many times.

Concentrating on what’s wrong will never change anything.

Seeing in your mind’s eye how you want to fix a fault – now that’s powerful.

If you believe you’re lazy, you are lazy.

If you believe you don’t care, you probably don’t.

If you believe that you’re the reason everything at work went wrong, there’s no doubt you will be guilty as accused.

See the way you want to be and not the way you are denigrated.

As Shakespeare said:

Assume a virtue if you have it not.

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Starting Over on a Bad Day

Everything in our lives has a restart button.

Our phones, our computers, video games, televisions.  We even use the word restart as if we can make something go away and get better fast.

No one has only good days.

Happy people restart their bad days.

No obsessing over what irritates you.

Deemphasizing you and focusing on others.

Injecting an emergency dose of gratitude right in the middle of your meltdown (“Thank God for my family”, “I’m blessed with good health”, etc.). 

Say “I’m going to hit restart right now”.

There is no need to waste another precious day because something went wrong from the outset.

Hit restart.

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Eliminating Can’t

Olympians only know can and will.

The Philadelphia Eagles lost their star quarterback and had every reason to believe that they would still not win their first Super Bowl in February.

Can’t became can defeating one of the greatest football franchises in NFL history, the New England Patriots no less.

Can is not a word – it’s a promise – and that’s the difference.

Not yes, I’m capable of overcoming the odds.

It’s yes, I promise myself to do everything I humanly can to achieve my goals.

Can’t becomes can.

Won’t turns into will.

An excuse morphs into a challenge.

What’s keeping you from your dreams is not the world, the job, someone you don’t like, a misfortune or a handicap.

The only person who needs to hear the words “I can” is you.

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