Trusting Yourself

When it’s a matter of life and death, men and crewmembers survive sinking ships in greater numbers than women and children.

It’s truly every man for himself.

Maritime disasters are tragic events but they show us how ordinary people react under stressful situations.

So it’s back to you trusting you in everyday life.

You can’t expect the trust of another if you’re not willing to 100% trust yourself first.

You have all you need for trust.

Start first by listening to your instincts. 

No one knows you better than you do, that counts for a lot.

Trust is not a wish or hope, it’s a hard choice that precedes the end result.

When you doubt yourself, you are hurting yourself.

The word trust has the letter “u” right in the middle – what a convenient reminder. Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

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Deciding What To Do With Your Life

Why do we pressure ourselves to pick one thing?

Why do we limit ourselves because of age (too young, too old)?

You don’t have to decide once and for all – you can do it again and again. 

Life happens, things change, you morph into a different person so why pressure yourself into a decision that may be wrong?

Renew your “contract with yourself” every year – if you like what you’re doing, vow to continue for another year.  If you’re antsy for change, pursue the change. 

Don’t be the one to put limitations on what you want to do and certainly don’t accept limitations from others. 

Even if you’re not qualified, dream on – you can acquire the skills if you’re really motivated.   

Don’t give up before you decide.  Excuses like “I don’t have the education or background” are self-defeating.

It’s your dream not what others want you to do. 

Money is an excuse for not even trying to attain the life you want – no one successful has been rolling in money on the way up. 

Think of your life as a canvass – it’s yours to paint on as you wish.

Picasso wouldn’t hand a brush to someone else and say “here, you paint my picture”.

As long as you are alive and able, see your dreams and then see them through. 

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Gaining Confidence

Sounding confident doesn’t mean being confident.

Talk to yourself as a believer in you – not to convince other people that you are competent.

Instant confidence booster:  always think of the things you do well, no reason to concentrate on things you are criticized for.

Confidence is perishable – when things go good it automatically gets better, when things are tough, confidence is strained. 

Sticking with something is a confidence builder.

Failing is a strength, take credit for your willingness to overcome adversity. 

Often, just saying something positive about yourself, builds confidence. 

Before I speak to audiences, I always remind myself that I have earned the right to be standing there.  That I have the skills to share what is on my mind and that I respect the audience the way I expect them to respect me.   It never fails.

Confidence is your ability to handle anything, deal with everything and stick with it until you succeed.

Failing has nothing to do with losing confidence.

Forgetting about the fine person you are has everything to do with it.

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Overcoming Doubt

It’s normal to question ourselves from time to time.

But never to doubt our ability, motives or confidence.

Never bet against yourself. 

Overcome doubt with focusing on past accomplishments – big and small. 

Doubt is personal sabotage. 

Anything worth doing is worth believing.

Often doubting ourselves is simply fear of failing – banish the thought. 

It’s not fair to ask others to believe in you if you’re not prepared to believe in yourself.

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Giving Up

Why do we give up?

Nothing good happens when we stop trying.

It’s self-inflicted – no one makes us do it.

Giving up means you really don’t want it that much.

No one gets to discourage you from your dreams and ambitions.

Another word for giving up is surrender – never, never willingly surrender pursuing the life that you want. 

No person – no matter how powerful or close – can hurt us more than we hurt ourselves by giving up. 

If it’s worth doing or worth having, it’s worth fighting for.

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Combatting Loneliness

The good news about loneliness is that you have lots of other people feeling the same way who are also looking for a meaningful connection.

Looking for friendship is a surefire way not to find it.

Spend all efforts on being the person you want to be not someone you think others might like. 

Think of yourself as an icebreaker – most people are looking for someone to go first so hit start. 

Loneliness is not shameful or embarrassing – it means you are hungry for stimulation and compassion.

A social media friend is not necessarily a friend – loneliness is combatted in real time.

Your new motto – do, don’t stew.  Reach out.

Loneliness is a choice, but there are better ones like anticipating something positive that can happen when you decide to replace it with friendliness.

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Learning Forgiveness

The divorced couple acting punitively against each other and often their children are an emotional mess that takes a huge toll.

Life is full of people who acted in a way that is over the top – inhumane, mean, even viscous.

Some people don’t deserve forgiveness, but do it for your sake.

To forgive does not mean to forget.

Forgiveness does not mean putting up with continued abuse that must be stopped in its tracks.

Don’t ask the perpetrator to also forgive – forgiveness is unilateral and without strings.

You don’t have to tell the other person that you forgive them, just know it yourself.

If you won’t forgive the other person because they don’t deserve it, you run the risk of becoming like the other person. 

We gain control by giving up control and living life the way we want to be.

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Rebounding From Hurt

Never suffer silently – articulate what’s bothering you even if it is to yourself.

Hurt feelings are a part of life – they are a down payment on future happiness yet to come.

Allowing someone to discourage you is hurtful behavior on your part.

Being human and feeling awful about something or someone who has hurt you is nothing to be ashamed of – deal with it and move on.

Rule number 1 – do not strike back at those who hurt, you will not be happy being like them. 

Take heart in realizing that life is a risk – when we let people get close to us they are within close proximity to hurt us. 

Pain is transformational.

It comes and it goes.

It’s what happens in between that can be worse than the hurt and there is something we can do about that.

Love yourself a little bit more.

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Rewarding Progress

Discouragement comes from not seeing the progress we are making.

Not quitting is progress.

Failing is progress as long as you try again.

Progress can be hidden in more work left to do – sometimes you have to look harder.

Even knowing when to quit is progress worthy of hearty congratulations.

No move is a good move if you are uncertain – rethink the plan.

Just looking for the mistakes, the bad breaks, the steep mountains to climb – is self-defeating.

Rededicate yourself to searching for progress even when it appears hidden.

That’s how successful people take on new challenges successfully.

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A Dream & A Scheme

Having dreams about a better life are the essential compass for pursuing that which you want.

But acting on dreams is the harder part.

Every worthy dream deserves a worthy scheme – a plan to at the very least take a step in the direction of seeing it come true.

When dreamers are hopers then they are likely gazing into the future of what could have been.

Armed with a plan, dreams come true.

It takes many steps to fulfill a dream – ask, are your prepared to take these steps. 

Small steps are as valuable as big ones.

Also have a plan for discouragement – don’t allow it for even one second. 

How many failures are you willing to endure to live the life you want? 

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  • Jerry, met you years ago when We were forming Surrey Broadcadting. 1979. Would love to chat soon and attempt to fill in 38 years of radio experiences! Meanwhile , I’m sending you an email from my private address used only for my family and loved one’s communications. I’ve believed and lived my life as you quoted today- Dream and have a plan!!! Works