Eye Contact

There is a new study that shows physicians now spend only 12% of their time making eye contact with their patients.  That’s a mere 12 seconds out of each minute actually focused looking into the patient’s eyes.

The other 88% of their time is spent with electronic medical records.

This is probably close to the way laypeople spend their time – 12% looking or focused on another and 88% distracted by things such as phones, technology, etc.

So, to be a better person – one who wins friends, makes others feel happy and to reap the reward of sincere appreciation – all we have to do is stretch that number to, say, 30 seconds of eye contact per minute or more.

No courses are needed.  No special training.  No inspirational talks.

The evidence is in, starting today it is up to us.

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Overcoming “Not Good Enough”

8 in 10 Millennials don’t feel they are good enough according to a just released study in the UK.

They feel overwhelmed and are suffering the anxiety and mental problems that go along with it.

6 in 10 say society’s expectations are too high.

Non-Millennials are likely to feel the same way as they are letting their connectivity to the internet and social media adversely affect their lives.

Being “good enough” starts with conviction.

My advantages outweigh my disadvantages even if I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated.

I will get off my own case – criticizing yourself never leads to good self-esteem. 

Stress causes a lack of confidence and lack of confidence causes stress.

I will temper society’s perceived expectations of me and get in touch with what I really want. 

I will own my own happiness – not look to other people or diversions to provide it.

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Family Heartbreak

Holidays should be like the Hallmark cable channel with a happy ending.  Thanksgiving should be the fantasy of family coming together and celebrating.

Often real life isn’t like that.

There are family hurts, disruption and even animosity when loved ones come together.

We can’t change our family but we can expand the definition.

A best friend doesn’t have to be a blood relative.  A trusted person may have different DNA.  The definition of family can be wider than those sharing the same genetics.  They can even have four legs.

For every heartbreak, there can be the wonder of people who have happened into our lives but are not unnoticed and this is always a cause for celebration.

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Worry Less

Most of us worry about basically the same things and then repeat and obsess over them and multiple the worry until it takes over our lives.

In the headline I suggested that there is an effective way to have fewer worries almost immediately.

Isolate one thing, don’t multiple it until it becomes too big to handle.

There are many ways to deal with worries but even before you apply those proven solutions, make the cut down to one worry per situation not many grown out of obsession and then you’re ready to tackle them.

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Getting Even

It may feel good.  It may be irresistible but it is a total waste of time.

Letting go brings greater benefits.

The damage is done, why continue to waste your time getting back at someone who hurt you.

Not one minute of time spent on getting even is worth it.

The winner is the person who escapes.

Confucius said “To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

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