Caring & Not Controlling

Sometimes it appears people care more when they want something or want to influence an outcome.

Caring is a gift we give – it costs nothing, just time and the reward is evident as we recognize that we can make a difference.

Not controlling is a bigger gift – it means I care and want nothing in return from you.

My time costs nothing but it is worth a lot to the recipient.

Controlling people is the fastest way to drive people away.

Caring and not controlling is real power for good and draws others close to you.

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Less Stress

In our world, it’s not just our stress that’s getting to us, it’s that of others conveyed to you.

You could live the perfect stress-free life but you still have to live in an imperfect stressful world.

What to do?

Recognize if it’s your stress or theirs – own yours, deflect theirs.

You’re better at dealing with stress than you probably think so put a hold on it when you don’t like the way it makes you feel.

You don’t have to solve the problem to relieve the stress – just recognize it and put it in its place.

When others infect you with their stress, remember that you are paying a price with your health and happiness the longer you keep absorbing negative emotions like a sponge.

When all else fails, think about something or someone for which you are grateful – stress cannot exist at the same time that you are actively experiencing gratitude.

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Compassion

Do you know the one thing great teachers do that others do not?

Show compassion.

I realize that may not be how you or I were educated but it is the number one need of people in a world that doesn’t seem to care about them.

In fact, the number one thing that those around you crave is compassion so happiness and success goes to the person who not only realizes this but acts on it.

Believe first, doubt second.

Feel pain without having to talk about yours.

Listen, don’t give advice.

Stay in touch without needing something from them – show you care.

Think about how you would feel if someone in your life did the four things above.

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One Sure Way to Cure Unhappiness

Get off social media and give up your phone.

If you are not ready to do that, wait until you have tried everything else and become desperate.

Our phones are killing our happiness.

They are making us sick, distracted, anti-social and sometimes hurtful through social media.

It’s all over the news and yet we cling to our phones and even empower our children to live by the light of a screen.

For those who can’t or won’t give up their devices, take charge and make changes.

Limit phone time. Stick to it.

Weekends off.

No screens before bed (science tells us this disrupts our brains and adversely affects our sleep).

Social media is a black hole – go cold turkey, get off and welcome back the real world.

Organize phones to avoid black holes – the first few screens should have apps that we can visit and leave quickly. All other apps including social media apps should be in folders and not readily accessible. Should you go there you know that you risk withdrawing from life.

The only smartphone is one that you control and that does not monopolize our lives.

Even Steve Jobs never imagined the deleterious effects of his iPhone although he did limit screen time for his own children.

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Repairing Hurt Feelings

As much as you want to forget hurt, don’t.

You run the risk of accepting insults every time you avoid them.

An insult is a veiled compliment – take it as such.

Resist the temptation to react – that’s exactly what a person armed with insults wants you to do. Resorting to insults will not make you happier.

Also, don’t believe a word – it’s pretty sad when we start taking to heart someone who doesn’t have one.

Remove yourself from situations where people hurl insults (and if it’s at work and you can’t avoid it, seriously start looking for a better work environment).

Admit it hurts, but don’t accept the insult.

The best way to repair hurt feelings is to remind yourself about the fine person you are and consider the source.

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