Making Your Dream Come True

You can’t dictate when that will be, but you can say when your quest is to begin.

Do you have a dream?  Can you name it?

What?

Only one?

In your career, what do you see yourself doing to gain rich fulfillment and success?

In your personal life, what is the dream for you and the special people in your lives?

What is your God-given gift – are you going to pursue it or just walk around knowing what it is? 

A few weeks ago I mentioned the importance of a dream and a scheme – a plan to advance you toward that which will ultimately bring you satisfaction.

More money is not a dream.

Becoming more powerful is lust not self-satisfaction. 

Trying to be liked by all, a fool’s errand.

Your dream is something only you know and the moment you identify it, acknowledge it and safeguard it from the negativity of others, will you be on your way to realizing it.

Not if – but in a matter of time which begins today.

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Lonely at the Holidays

Call someone who has lost a loved one this past year to help them through their grief at holiday time. 

Do something you never usually do – take a vacation alone, or a day by yourself.  Ask anyone who has traveled alone for the first time and ask them how many people they met.  Be courageous and reap the benefits. 

Bring a gift to someone ill or needy.

When I was working at a Philadelphia radio station, I spent one memorable Christmas Eve at the Moss Rehabilitation Center horrified as little children with advanced arthritis sped down the hallways in the prone position on skateboard type devices.  When they were ready for bed, I went room to room and handed them each a radio.  I got the real gift that warms me until this day.

Try to spend at least some time with the kindest, most considerate person you know doing anything as long as it is with them. 

Stay off of Facebook and social media that has been proven to make users lonelier.

Next year you may be closer to friends or a special person may have entered your life, but today you have yourself – the specialist gift you ever receive.

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Winning an Argument

You can’t really win an argument.

You can bully someone into saying they agree with you or inflame them even further by forcing them to defend themselves just because they don’t agree with you.

Or, assuming you can’t avoid an argument as Dale Carnegie always recommends as the first important step, then enjoy it.

Ask the other person to layout their case. 

Don’t disagree or ask them to agree with you.

In fact, don’t tell them your position until they ask.

An argument is usually about power.

There is a winner and a loser.

But if you decide that there will be no winners and losers, just learners, then you can shake hands and see the other person’s point of view without having to abandon yours.

If you are in a relationship where the other person has to win every argument, you may need to remove yourself from it.

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Gaining Control

We lose it when we lose control.

Even the meek among us prefers to be in charge of their own destiny.

One guaranteed way to never be in charge of your destiny is to waste time trying.

Give away your power and see if you die – it’s more likely that you will live happily on every occasion. 

Help others become empowered – not through words but actions.  Take a seat and say, “you run this meeting” and then do everything you can to help them succeed. 

Stairs are for running down, people are for building up – every breath you invest in making another person more powerful, makes you more powerful.

Fight to keep control and you’ll live a lifetime of unhappiness.

Give it away by enabling others and your become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

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Handling Unwanted Criticism

Don’t listen to criticism. 

Don’t read reviews. 

No one ever benefits from criticism — not even the person giving it.

When you are the target of unwanted criticism, you become less effective, less confident, more stressed.

Ignore criticism if you can.

When forced to acknowledge it (say, at work), admit to hearing it but don’t dignify criticism of you any further by entering into a conversation.

Criticism makes us feel needy – resist it with whatever it takes. 

Doing better and learning from so-called “constructive” criticism are two opposite things.

Even if criticism brings about change out of fear, it will not be long lasting.

The place for criticism is out of your mind.

The place for self-improvement is to use your mind on your own.               

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

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