One Success Pays for a Dozen Failures

Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon is reviled and admired – sometimes at the same time.

But he didn’t succeed by being stupid.

“Nobody likes to fail… failure, even when you know it’s important and good, it’s embarrassing. It doesn’t feel good. We’re all human. We had a good idea. We thought it was a good idea, and nobody came to the party. That happens. And here’s the great thing, though. One success, one winner can pay for dozens and dozens of failures.” 

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Combating Hate

Love not hate.

Diversity not homogeneousness.

Compassion not antipathy.

Reconciliation not conflict.

Kindness not harshness.

Healing not hurtful.

These are just words until they are activated.

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Never Never

Do you ever notice how often the word “never” comes up in conversations?

There is a way to change the meaning of never to …

“Always” – “I never send thank you notes” to “I always try”

“Maybe I might” – “I never started my own business” could be “maybe I might”.

“Just this once” – “I always text, never call” might sound like “just this once I will call”

“For you” – “I never walk in fund raisers but I’ll give money instead” becomes “For you, I’ll do it”.

Never is an adverb that can be changed into a positive action word.

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How Would Your Family Rate You?

At universities across the country students who’ve just completed their courses are asked to rate the course and the professor.

What rating would you get if your family rated you?

Or your spouse or partner?

How about employees or associates?  Even children.

Not every assessment is correct or even accurate but over time a trend begins to form.

We don’t need a survey form to start getting the advantages, there is an easier way.

Interact with people as if they could rate every contact with you.

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The Advantages of Being Underestimated

Like a lot of kids, my family was hit with a lot of problems – my dad had a massive heart attack weeks before I started first grade, we were all thrown into turmoil.

I felt I had all I could do to keep up and as a result I learn early on that gnawing feeling of not being good enough – struggling in school, with confidence, socially.

But what a gift it turned out to be.

Every insult was fuel to create a burning desire, one I have had all my life and still have to this moment.

Being underestimated can have the reverse effect to teach us how badly we want something and how to keeping going until we get it.

Those with high expectations may even have greater problems than the underestimated except the hidden gift is to learn how to believe in yourself even when others don’t.

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Would You Pick YOU Out of a Lineup?

When I was in high school phys ed class, the captains chose their teams usually by picking their friends first – not how well they played baseball.

Life isn’t that much different.

If 5 candidates for the job you want next were in a lineup and you had to pick one, would you choose yourself?

If you were one of the people competing for the affections of another, would it be you?

If you have a lot of friends but too few who are special, would you choose each one out of a lineup of potentials to be your friend again or did you establish relationships because you lived close by, went to school together or worked in the same company or industry?

In life, being qualified is the ticket for success.

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7 Regrets to Forget

Here are the 7 regrets of those who are in hospice and looking back on their lives:

  1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”
  2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”
  3. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings”
  4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends”
  5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier”
  6. “I wish I had followed my dreams”
  7. “I wish I had lived up to my full potential”

These are the top life’s regrets of those in palliative care as outlined by Bronnie Ware in 2012 and similar studies.

I don’t know about you, but this is the ultimate to-do list to put on the refrigerator and start working.

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Instant Gratitude

Pick a number and feel immediate gratitude.

How many years before your son or daughter graduate from high school – you’ll be more likely to see the problems surrounding growing up differently.

How many more holidays will you have with your parents?  Nothing helps focus on what you have in common instead of conducting petty disagreements over things that in the end don’t matter.

The presence of time as a factor in our lives is an immediate way to get right to gratitude.

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The 2-Minute Rule to a Happier Family Life

The Mayo Clinic physician and author Dr. Amit Sood has a great way of improving his home life that I’d like to share with you.

It’s the 2-minute rule to a happier family life.

When you arrive home from work (or end your day if you work at home), check your emails and texts away from your family (in the garage if you are driving) one final time before greeting your spouse and children.

Give 2 minutes of focused attention to each family member when you greet them – two minutes because that’s the amount of time research shows we have to capture a person’s attention before they block us out.

Ask open-ended questions (“how was your day”, “what made you happy today”) and give them as much time as they need.

We can complain about being locked down or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of our digital communications or we can handle it and learn to deal with those we love by applying this 2-minute rule to get off to a good start.

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Panic Attack Relief

Almost every family has experience with panic attacks because life is such that they are very prevalent now.

I’m not particularly prone to them personally but not immune from them either.

I was flying from Philadelphia to Las Vegas for a broadcasting convention and ate something that I was apparently allergic to (in the salad dressing) that caused my heart to beat rapidly and my face to turn red – 35,000 feet above land.

There are many causes for panic – too many to go into here – but there are a few things that seem to help.

Just the thought that you will get through the episode helps.

Changing thoughts from fear to thinking about others relieves some distress.

“I will not die” is helpful. 

Deep breathing, relaxation and thinking about other times you’ve dealt with panic sets the stage for recovery.

The physical threats of the cave dwellers trying to avoid being eaten by an animal predator have been replaced by chronic psychological worries and hurts that are multiplied by our constantly in touch lifestyle.

The brain can be rewired to respond to panic by bypassing anxiety for resilience – and it works.

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