Why Dreams Often Fail Without These 19 Words

Just wanting something does not at all mean we will get it.

Seeing that dream vividly in your mind’s eye is more effective.

You don’t want to get rich, you want to visualize in vivid color pictures what wealth means to you. 

You don’t want a promotion, it’s much more motivating to see what title you want on your business card.

It doesn’t work to say you just want to be happy – what specifically does happy look like for you?  Can you paint the picture in all its color?

Back to money – everyone wants more but few ever get enough because they fail to see vividly in their mind’s eye why that money is important so the journey to earn it often becomes the destination.

The only thing worth your sweat and blood is that which you can visualize.

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Self-Sabotage

I have a friend who always thinks the worst thing is going to happen to him.

He cannot even enjoy his successes.

Self-sabotage is lowering the bar so low that it becomes easier to succeed.

But my friend never enjoys his victories.

I’ve known him for a long time and in college he always thought he failed the test but was frequently the one who got the A.

Attacking yourself – and that’s what self-sabotage really is – is not how to live a happy and successful life.

If it’s worth your time, it’s worth your positive energy and hard work.

Whatever happens happens but you’ve done your best.

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Expect the Worst

Why is it that we criticize ourselves often worse than someone else could?

Does expecting the worst make it easier if things don’t work out?

Or is being overly optimistic just as dangerous because you’re flirting with a potentially bigger letdown if you don’t meet or exceed expectations?

Keeping expectations low and within reason and motivation high is the winning formula.

Expect the worst and you’ll likely get it.

Expect success and you’ll often be disappointed.

But expect the best possible effort that you can muster – that’s a winning plan.

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Positive Reinforcement

When a student tells their parents “I got 4 A’s and a B”, often the first response is “what did you get the B in?”  Not tell me about your report card.

For every “I got the promotion”, often the first comment is “how much more does it pay?” not “that’s great news – tell me about it.”

“I’m a finalist” often evokes “who else are you competing against and/or what are your chances?” instead of a simple and enthusiastic “congratulations – well done”.

The default setting is increasingly negative.

Lifting up and not running down is positive enforcement.

You want to be the person doing all the “lifting”.

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Overcoming Doubts

Doubts mean absolutely nothing – unless you listen to them.

Doubts are excuses to fear the future and make a case for why something will not turn out right.

Happy, successful people don’t allow themselves to harbor doubts.

Their language does not include “can’t” or “won’t” because doubting yourself is like shooting yourself in the foot before the race begins.

To overcome doubts, eliminate them from every aspect of life and give yourself a better chance to succeed.

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