Songs You Can’t Get Out of Your Head

When a song repeats in your head over and over either because you heard it or for some unexplained reason just think of what happens when we run ourselves down.

It’s one thing to put a stop to others who say hurtful things, but it’s even worse when we allow negative thoughts to kick around in our brains like a song we can’t stop playing.

Imagine positive things to line our subconscious and put them on repeat.

We know the damage that can be done when the we take the hurtful words of others and keep repeating them, but turnabout is fair play here – change the message and hit repeat over and over.

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My Confidence Building Routine

Here it is.

  • “I have earned the right” to be here, speak before you, entertain, write, teach, contribute – the most powerful thought is I have qualified for what I am about to undertake.
  • If it’s something I have never done before, I repeat this mantra “I have done new things before, I can do them again”.
  • For an extra boost, I review accomplishments large and small, related or unrelated to what is before me.
  • I never fear failing – I do it all the time. When I fail, I will learn and get better.

The thing about confidence is it has to start with you, not someone else whispering in your ear.

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Accumulating Power

Becoming powerful is not about control, it’s about how you use the power you gain in an effective way.

Those people you’ve worked with that spend all their time seeking power and control over others are probably not very effective at using it – it’s the chase that drives them.

You accumulate power by building bridges, by doing favors, helping others, teaching and even by giving away power to win cooperation.

The person skilled in human relations is the most powerful person.

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Getting Off Your Own Back

“Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.” – Jack Nicklaus

100% is unattainable.

80% is unimaginable.

60% will leave us frustrated even if we succeed.

40% still means failing 6 out of 10 times.

20% means almost one in four times what we do is come through.

100% is fine for effort but reaching your goals one out of four times is reasonable and a reminder that we needlessly make ourselves miserable by setting unrealistic expectations. 

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Erasing Doubt

Most of us have more self-doubt than confidence.

Can’t wins over can and then it multiplies.

Doubt is one of the few things that can always be controlled.

How is it possible to ask others to believe in us when we don’t believe first?

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth believing you can do it.

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Getting the Best of an Argument

I remember when my date brought me home to meet her parents and they graciously took us all out to dinner at The Four Seasons in Philadelphia – on them!

It’s a night I will never forget but not for the reason you think.

Her parents looked like they were going to have an argument somewhere between the sorbet to cleanse the palate and the main course.

The waiters descended on us, her mother was adamant that she was right and she pursued the topic the way I pursed my filet.

But it got worse – louder, more forceful.  My date kicked me under the table as a reminder to keep my mouth shut.

But, amazingly and worth remembering is that this man would not argue – in the end, he told his wife, “you’re right” even though she made him say it a few times.

Crisis over because it’s true, the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Dessert was glorious.  He lit a cigar and as you just saw, I never forgot the lesson.

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Improving

If you practice the wrong thing, you will get good at something that doesn’t matter.

  • Practice time is precious – think about what is worth your time and effort.
  • Find what makes the most difference in your life and come up with a plan to improve your skills.
  • Time spent toiling is not the same as time spent improving.
  • Repetition is your enemy without a proven plan and an end goal.

Knowing what is right and what is wrong is worth more than spending hours chasing an ill-defined dream.

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Not Dwelling on the Past

Think of the past as a file that we retrieve but must return to its proper place to avoid living there permanently.

The future is where we go to plan, a necessary journey but one that still requires that we return to the present to get it started and see it through.

The present is all we are guaranteed – it’s where we live, it’s what we have and it’s the best place to reside.

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Multiplying Productivity

Teachers divide their year into two semesters, coaches often divvy the season up into smaller sections where they can start fresh if things don’t go the right way.

Dividing can multiply productivity.

The reason most people choose to do the easy things on their to-do list is because they don’t take long to complete even if more consequential time-consuming things remain neglected.

The trick is to divide the larger, more complex and usually more impactful things in life into smaller more bit-sized tasks.  This is what super achievers do because it is human nature to put off large projects because they take more time than most people have.

Are we working smart or working to harvest the easy stuff first?

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Phone Addiction

I forgot my phone the other day – left the house without it, went about my business and for some odd reason I was so busy or distracted that I didn’t notice.

I did have my watch on with email and other capabilities but, apparently, I didn’t look at it while I was out.

When I returned, I sat down, reached into my pocket when I realized that I must have lost my phone (I didn’t). The panic of being separated from my phone was real and I don’t have to tell you the thought was terrifying.

Then when I found it being charged, I felt proud that I could leave the house without it and survive.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to do this again or say how great it felt to be away from constant contact.

But I did learn something.

I can live without my phone, but my phone can’t live without me.

It works for me not the other way around.

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