Count the Cant’s

If you changed every can’t you say in the next hour to can, your life would be transformed.

Suddenly the new default setting is “possible”.

And then, you start expecting to achieve.

Saying “can’t” instead of “can” is self-inflicted failure.

The way we talk to ourselves matters.

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Finding Confidence

Turning to others for that which should come from within you rarely works.

Confidence comes from believing in yourself.

When a sports team wins game after game, they believe they can’t lose.

When they are on a losing streak, they believe they can’t win.

Outsourcing confidence to a friend, loved one or associate is not as effective as focusing on what’s good about you.

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Guaranteeing Success

All the best plans mean nothing, if you don’t begin now.

Delay is the enemy.

Planning is important but absent a “start button” success will remain elusive.

Identify the next step and act.

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Changing Others

Yes, it can be done in ways that are so simple.

The first ten people you come in contact with this morning smile at them.

Most people are now bent over with their faces buried in their phones and they are usually not smiling.

A smile is like a yawn.

Ever notice when someone yawns, you automatically yawn, too.

When you smile, it is hard for others to resist smiling back and it can change a moment, a day or even begin to change a relationship.

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Dealing with Rude

It seems more acceptable to tolerate rude behavior because it can be delivered through text messages, email and social media.

It’s a lot harder to take liberties in person or on the phone.

Just because someone can hit send and hurt you does not make it right.  Nor does it mean that you have to be a willing partner to this type of behavior.

There are answers.

When someone puts their phone on the table, expedite the meal and move on.  That person is not able or willing to focus on you in person.

When receiving a hurtful message that you suspect was sent too quickly without thinking, reply “I don’t understand. Explain”.  That forces a more thoughtful response that may also include an apology. 

Being left out is hurtful, when it happens again move on and put your energy and personality where it is desired.

When someone pushes your boundaries, push back and stop it immediately.  Stopping verbal abuse has the positive effect of building self-esteem.

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